Halloween. I have always dreaded Halloween. For kids it is a time to dress up and get lots and lots yummy candy! It amazes me how much adults look forward to this holiday as a way to relive their youth. For me, I always hated this day. I absolutely hated having to pick a costume and dress up. My own loathing goes back to 1st grade when I was given a cute little "Casper" costume to wear to school. God how I got made fun of. It wasn't a scary costume; it was a "cute" costume. From that point forward, I hated having to dress up. The angst of having to decide on what to wear, then go about creating a costume; a costume that gave me the self assurance that I wouldn't get laughed at. Oh the pains of youth. For many years, I simply refused to get caught up in the whole Halloween scene. I simply didn't want to feel left out and therefore kind of self exiled myself from the day.

It wasn't until I came out that I began to learn just how much the gay world lives for this holiday. A day to dress up as something different, escape one's own life for a day I suppose. Even now I still don't fully understand it. It wasn't until 2002, when K and I received an invitation from our friend Tim to attend his "Hellywood" party that this would change. Ironically, it was being invited to such an exclusive event that turned my perception of this holiday around. Drudgingly, K talked me into going; we made ourselves costumes and had the time of our lives. Each year was a different theme. Old Hollywood horror films the first year, Under the Big Top the second year (complete with cirque de soleil performers) and the final year, Once Upon a Time.

Hellywood happened for three years. Tim took this year off from throwing one. Going from hating Halloween to looking forward to it was a big step for me. I really missed it this year. But all good things must come to and end.

So here is to all of you ghosts and goblins out there, wishing you the happiest of Halloweens this year!

Hurricane Sunday

What better to do when you are home sick, watch a lovely little hurricane.
Nothing better than watching the cute guys on the news channels get blown
around. CNN's got meteorologist Rob Marciano, a hottie! Fox even has a
couple that pop up now and then. Fox is actually funny to watch. They are
so dramatic! Normally I hate that channel, except for hurricanes. I swear
they all go into panic mode. LOL! I do feel a bit sorry for Florida though.
I use to live there and hurricanes are just one of those things you live
with, but sheesh, this is a little much.

So what is up with me, not much. Still recovering but FINALLY starting to
feel better. Been a traumatic week and just haven't felt like blogging
about it. I hate being sick. I become such a baby when I don't feel good.
Poor K has had his hands full trying to take care of me. Thanks baby! It
wasn't appendicitis though, so in one respect that is a good thing. But as
it turns out, I would rather have gone through that and gotten it over with.
I have a journey ahead so at this point still trying to keep things in
perspective. It is just one of those times when it rains in paradise.

But enough about that.

Appendicitis anyone?

What an unproductive week this has been. I think I picked up some kind of flu like bug last weekend. Starting Sunday, I felt weak, run down, kept getting a fever that would come and go and generally just felt like shit. I actually ended up calling in sick to work Monday and Tuesday, which for me, is way out of the norm. I finally broke down and went to the doc on Tuesday. Basically I just wanted some quick fix or at least some good old pep talk from my doc that this is just a little virus that will soon pass. WRONG!

After spending an hour of examining me, they seem to think I may actually have the start of appendicitis! Strange cuz my gut never hurt till they started pushing really hard on it. Next thing I know I am getting a cat scan of my abdomen. Now, keep in mind, the ONLY thing I really wanted to do that day was sleep. From starting at the doctor's office at 9am, it is now 3pm and another doctor is telling me that my appendix looks a little abnormal and I am to go to the hospital! WTF??? I don't feel THAT bad! Next comes the inevitable phone calls. First to K to let him know what is up and where we need to go, next to my boss to give him a heads up (I am
suppose to be leaving for a work trip to Phoenix the next day, and finally to my Mom who is in town running some errands. The last one was the one a dreaded the most. She has spent so much time in hospitals lately, dealing with her brother, then my grandma a couple weeks ago and now me! Oy.

K and I get to the emergency room only to find out it will be an hour before I am seen. Mom finally shows up right as the are taking me in. They get me into a bed and wouldn't you know, more friking needles. So far, I had already given blood twice and already had an IV for my cat scan. I hate needles, no I absolutely LOATH them. Not so much the pain, just the fact getting stuck my them. And here it goes again! More blood taken and now and IV of fluid since apparently I'm dehydrated. Well no shit! They haven't let me eat or drink anything all day. Another doctor feels me up and then says a surgeon will see me in 2 hours! Fuck, if I was really sick I could be dead by now! I'm starting to wonder what is really going on. Finally the surgeon comes in and pokes and prods me again. Honestly, I have never been poked so much in my entire life and unfortunately it hasn't been in the good way! Well, now the surgeon doesn't feel it is appendicitis, but rather a viral thing. As I was joking with K and my mom that I think maybe I have that new bird flu, the nurse walks in and says, "We can test you for that.". "Really?", I say. "Yes, do you feel any sudden urges to fly or peck?" Everyone's a smart ass.

It was a pretty humorous night down there though. At one point while waiting for the surgeon, a cute young resident who has been working with me comes in and looks at the TV playing up on the wall. They are showing clips of all these hot, shirtless guys on some reality show. He looks over at K and I and starts laughing. "What the hell? Did you guys bring in your own video tapes?" LOL.

Left the hospital Tuesday night and headed back to the doctor on Wednesday. They STILL frikin think I have appendicitis! More blood and worse of all, they officially take me off work for a week. Not good news to tell the boss. He actually took it well, and just told me to get better. He even called today from Phoenix to check on me. He isn't usually the type to do that so it took me a little off guard.

So here I sit. Bored out of my skull. Not feeling bad, but not being allowed to do ANYTHING while modern medicine tries to figure out if in fact there is anything wrong with me. Grrrrrr.

Happy Sunday

This is oh so true, lol! Happy Sunday everyone!

Hmmm....

Got this in email today. I think there is more than just a "backache" keeping them up!

Finally Friday!!

This is just one of those Fridays where I just don't feel like being at work. I've been here for 2 hours and have accomplished absolutely nothing but getting some good surfing time in. LOL! I think I am just tired. Stopped by the Doc's office this morning to find out why I have been getting headaches for the last couple of weeks. Tension. LOL, well I did know I was under a whole lot of stress. I love my Doc! His advice, "Go get a massage and relax!" That and a script for a muscle relaxer. But since I hate taking medication, I am going to pass on that for now. But at least I know what is causing it and reassurance they were not an indication that migraines might be coming back. Those just suck!

So since I have been here at work, I have had no motivation at all. Zero. So I spent some timesurfing my old frat's website. I can't believe how long ago that was. I wasn't out in college. But still had some fantastic times back then. Part of me really misses school. Things were a lot different back then. No stress. I was never the type that had to study a lot. Usually just crammed the night before a test and that was it. Spent most of my time out of school flying airplanes (I am a licensed pilot), riding broncs (grew up rodeoing) and way too much time partying with my frat brothers. I graduated with my bachelor's in Aviation Mgmt and Human Resource Mgmt. When I finally went back to do some post grad work, I ventured off into Industrial Engineering which is the field I am still in. How many times have we looked back at the paths we have chosen and wondered where we would be if we had taken a different fork in the road. All in all I am pretty happy with the route I took. I come from an airline family and have gone through two bankruptcies. Not the best industry to be in right now. The pay is still very good for pilots. I mainly chose engineering because the starting pay with the airlines just sucks. I had a large student loan to pay off and simply couldn't live on the low amounts they were paying new hires. Though my work now tends to get stressful at times, I don't have to travel near as much and I get paid pretty comparable to what I would be getting paid had I chose to stay in the cockpit (I still love that word. Wonder why?). And, since I keep up my proficiency, anytime I get the urge to go cloud punching, I can still do that.

Well, I guess I should try to get SOMETHING accomplished here today so that's it for now.

Is it the weekend yet?

The week is finally half over!! Been a long week at work and absolutely can't wait for the weekend! Nothing planned except being able to sleep in. My most favorite part of the morning is waking up, knowing I don't have to get up, and slowly drifting back to sleep. I do have to work Sunday, which is rare for me. I am actually covering for a guy on vacation, but it does mean I get another day off next week. Instead I'm taking Wednesday off. That will work out great since I have to leave for Phoenix that night and I'll have some time to get some rest and pack before leaving.

The trip will be a good diversion from all the stress from family and work the past couple of weeks. Unfortunately I won't have a car and since I will only be there a couple of nights, I won't be able to go out and explore any of the hot spots in town. In fact, I'm staying in someplace called Goodyear. Have no idea what part of Phoenix that is even in. Wish I knew someone in town. Though the trip is for work, I am only going as an advisor so won't have a lot to do. No presentations to give and nothing to prepare. Nice! Maybe I can at least get some pool time in.

Grandma update: She seems to be doing well. She is out of the hospital and doesn't seem to be having any lasting effects other than being a little tired. They never did find out exactly what happened to her. They still think she had a minor stroke, yet the MRI failed to show any signs of it. Mom feels better and that is the best part.

Short one for today, but wanted to at least get a little something posted and bed is calling.

Weekend's End

Another weekend has come and gone. Actually wraps up a bad week. Work was nothing but stress and then Thursday I get a call from my mom that my grandma is being rushed to the hospital. She was going in and out of consciousness and was not holding food down. After a battery of tests not much was found. They think she might possibly have had a minor stroke, but they can't find evidence of one from either a cat scan or MRI. She is doing better today though and looks as though she may return home Tuesday or Wednesday.

It has been another trauma for my mom. Last November she lost her younger brother to cancer. She still hasn't gotten over that loss. Now her mom gets ill. I worry about her and wish I were closer to my grandma to help out. She lives in Phoenix but we may be moving her out to Colorado soon. That way I will be able to help out more if something happens again.

Between all of that and trying to get somewhat caught up with some work (which I just never quite felt all that motivated to do), this weekend wasn't all that great. Now for another fun filled week of stress at work. The only bright spot was looking at some vacation stuff with K. We are planning to head back to Hawaii this February and this time some of our friends are actually committing to go with us. That should be a good time if we can work it all out and get some good rates. I love to plan vacations so that gave me a little diversion this weekend. It's really kind of weird having K back at work. Weird in that he is working on my days off, so I kind of find myself at a loss of what to do. When he was off work, I really use to some alone time. I mean, since he wasn't working he was home all the time so there wasn't really any time that I could just kick back and have the place to myself for a while. Now for the past few weeks, he has been working on my days off and I find myself getting bored. LOL! I think I need to find a hobby. Better yet, get my ass off the couch and hit the gym. The beach is only a few months away!