Another Year Older

WOOHOO, they say it's my birthday, na na na na na na na na gonna have a gooooood time. Well, anyway, here it is. I am in a better mood than I was last night. Maybe the morning sex has something to with it, but I do feel pretty alive today. Still keeping this day pretty low key though. No dive trips planned, no rodeos to compete in, no big parties. Though I may go out with some friends and try shakin my booty a little tonight! Since K and I have our birthday's 10 days apart, we are getting together with some family and friends on Wednesday for dinner.

So why is it that so many of us have such a hard time with turning older? Our culture seems to be forever obsessed with age and beauty. The young, buff and beautiful. Sounds like a fucked up soap opera. So many guys still are still trying to be 25 though they are 20 years older than that. They hit the club scene every weekend, obsessed with the gym and keeping up appearances. I am bound and determined to not be like so many before me dreading every new wrinkle, aches, or grey hair. It has amazed me how many people have told me this week that this decade is the best one they have so far. As Michael said, there are just no more worries at this age. No more being concerned what others think; no more trying to keep up, just living to have fun and fuck everyone else. With age and experience comes confidence. So, let's hope they are right. I've never really been the twink type anyway, so I think I may fit in ok. Of course, after a few rounds tonight, I may be acting like one! Aw fuck it anyway! So if your out and about tonight, have a round on me!! Cheers all!

It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To

Happy Birthday to me! I'm not exactly crying, but I am feeling like a bit old these days. Friday night and I am staying at home. Since my birthday didn't officially start until midnight, I am holding off the celebration until tomorrow night, my official day. And to be honest, I really don't have anything planned. K will be working so it may just turn out to be me at home. Some friends will be out in the clubs, but I'm really not too much in the party mood anyway. Maybe after a good night sleep I'll feel a better. While I realize it's just a number, it's one I've been dreading. I feel like that jingle from Toy's R Us "I don't wanna grow up!"

Alone Time

Living with a couple other people can be daunting at times. Especially for those that have live a time by themselves. Making time for yourself is very important. Having that "alone" time in which you can decompress, unwind and really just be alone with your own thoughts. There is always an adjustment period to go through when you make the commitment to move in with your "significant other". (That is such a bazaar term, but I digress). Add to that also having a roommate. I don't actually have to be alone, just some time when I can be undisturbed without having to converse. I can get this by simply going to the coffee shop and immersing myself in reading. But some people actually need some space where they are truly isolated in order to decompress a bit. Usually I my space in the evenings after K goes to bed. K on the other hand has a more difficult time. With our work schedules, the only real free time home alone is on his days off when I am at work. Now the complexity. Our new roommate has the same days off. Luckily though this is only a temporary situation and come June the roomie's schedule changes to have weekends off. LOL this will now match my days off! Anyway, K has been a bit stressed of late. While hoping to give him some space today and tomorrow, inevitably things come up to eat into that time. My mom called and wanted us to join her for lunch. Ok, well then K will have the afternoon. Well, there was a dr appoint scheduled for then. Tomorrow, K has another appointment in the morning and then the roomie called saying he was coming back home on the early flight. Oy. Anyway I trucked myself down to the java shack tonight to give K some well deserved space. I called the roomie back and we are gonna meet up tomorrow when he gets in and go laptop shopping and then maybe hangout or take the dog to the lake. Hopefully that will give K the time he needs to rest up. I think it has been something like 3 months since he has had anytime alone at the house by himself. I get a little angry at myself though for always trying to be the peacekeeper and trying to make sure everyone is happy. I need to learn that something like this can easily be taken car of by K himself, by simply requesting a couple different days off. But it all should work out OK I think.

I like coming down here to the java shack and watching people. You get micro-insights into other people's worlds. It's kind of funny though, how I see so many of the same people. Since today I am down here in the middle of the day, on a weekday no less, there are no less than 7 people I see here on the weekends. Don't these people have jobs? It seems like a coincidence, but it is always the same few. Perhaps they don't.

Getting my alone time has given me some time for reflection this week. I am also starting to have some birthday angst. Well maybe not angst, reflection maybe. I am in such a different place than I was 10 years ago. But in so different a place than I had pictured myself back then. Not a bad place, just different. I look back on some of the crossroads I've come across and the direction I took, often wondering where the other path would have led. This is a weird space for me. I usually don't do that. For the most part, I feel I am pretty well grounded and try to live in today rather than the past. But still I wonder. Must be the fact of my upcoming birthday. I so often still feel like I am still 25. Yet I like the person I am now so much more than the person I was back then. I only hope that the next 10 years, I still feel young while at the same time, continuing to mature emotionally. Time will tell.

Shit that was a bit philosophical! Where the fuck did that come from?
Anyway, peace all!

Time For Some R & R

Well, I think it is time for another post before everyone up and abandons me! There are times that works gets far to much in the way of life sometimes. K actually called me a workaholic! Shit, what have I become? I'm not so sure if I can blame my lack of blogging on work or just not having a whole lot to say. It does seem that not much new or exciting is going on right now though. I am actually taking a week off this week. Not doing anything really exciting, mainly just burning a week before thing get to busy to take one. A chance to rest up and just be a bum for a week. My birthday is coming up next weekend and don't even have anything planned for that. It is one of those big ones, so I think I would rather just forget it. LOL!

Trying to get the basics of life out of the way early this week so I can then just veg a bit. Shit like laundry, housecleaning and such. Yay fun, huh? But I am looking forward to getting some time to do some reading, hanging out, catching up on email and basically just hanging out and unwinding for a bit. But I would rather be on a beach doing this than at home. Fucking lottery just won't come up with my numbers.

Finally downloaded a program to try a bit of podcasting. That might be fun or really scary! Hopefully I will get this program figured out and get something together. K is working on a podcast too. He is wanting to do a series of music history which might really be cool. He has some themes lined up like psychotic composers and some weird shit like that. It should be awesome. He really is creative. Now if I could just get him to do one using his own music, it would be even better.

Ran into one of my friends down here at the java shack. He is leaving on a two week trip to Rome and Florence in 5 days, the bitch. That is one place we have always wanted to go. I told him since he already has everything arranged for his trip and K and I have free airfare, we may just show up and bunk in their hotel! I think he thought I was actually serious and the look on his face was priceless. This is a little get away for him and his new bf so I think he wasn't all that thrilled at the prospect of having two vagabonds along on his romantic trip. No worries A, wouldn't do that to you. Or...maybe I would! LOL!

My buddy Triskal has been MIA the past couple days. Finally heard from him on messenger last night. The first words..."OMG I got fucked like a ragdoll!!!" LOL! Bastard! Glad to see him so happy! They fucked all night and day and then went on a 7 mile bike ride. AND he isn't even walking funny. I always new this pseudo top was really a power bottom! You go boy!

Our new roomie Johnny Boy is all settle in and back out on a trip for a few days. He and K have ended up having the same days off since he moved in and poor K hasn't really had any time alone. Hard for someone who is just getting back in the work force after a couple years and use to a lot of solitude during the day. But they both seem to be adjusting. We knew this might be an adjustment when we agreed to rent out a room. But everyone seems to be adjusting. That's a plus. K and Johnny both made it into the finals of Karaoke contest last month. It was an elimination contest over a few weeks, kind of like American Idol. They came in 2nd and 3rd behind a girl who packed the place with her friends the night of the finals. Bitch. Oh well, they both did awesome and both got invited to perform at Denver's Carousel Ball. The Carousel Ball is big fund raiser for the Colorado AIDS Project and a pretty big to do. Very cool to get invited to perform for it!

Ok, blah, blah, blah...enough for tonight.