Alone Time

Living with a couple other people can be daunting at times. Especially for those that have live a time by themselves. Making time for yourself is very important. Having that "alone" time in which you can decompress, unwind and really just be alone with your own thoughts. There is always an adjustment period to go through when you make the commitment to move in with your "significant other". (That is such a bazaar term, but I digress). Add to that also having a roommate. I don't actually have to be alone, just some time when I can be undisturbed without having to converse. I can get this by simply going to the coffee shop and immersing myself in reading. But some people actually need some space where they are truly isolated in order to decompress a bit. Usually I my space in the evenings after K goes to bed. K on the other hand has a more difficult time. With our work schedules, the only real free time home alone is on his days off when I am at work. Now the complexity. Our new roommate has the same days off. Luckily though this is only a temporary situation and come June the roomie's schedule changes to have weekends off. LOL this will now match my days off! Anyway, K has been a bit stressed of late. While hoping to give him some space today and tomorrow, inevitably things come up to eat into that time. My mom called and wanted us to join her for lunch. Ok, well then K will have the afternoon. Well, there was a dr appoint scheduled for then. Tomorrow, K has another appointment in the morning and then the roomie called saying he was coming back home on the early flight. Oy. Anyway I trucked myself down to the java shack tonight to give K some well deserved space. I called the roomie back and we are gonna meet up tomorrow when he gets in and go laptop shopping and then maybe hangout or take the dog to the lake. Hopefully that will give K the time he needs to rest up. I think it has been something like 3 months since he has had anytime alone at the house by himself. I get a little angry at myself though for always trying to be the peacekeeper and trying to make sure everyone is happy. I need to learn that something like this can easily be taken car of by K himself, by simply requesting a couple different days off. But it all should work out OK I think.

I like coming down here to the java shack and watching people. You get micro-insights into other people's worlds. It's kind of funny though, how I see so many of the same people. Since today I am down here in the middle of the day, on a weekday no less, there are no less than 7 people I see here on the weekends. Don't these people have jobs? It seems like a coincidence, but it is always the same few. Perhaps they don't.

Getting my alone time has given me some time for reflection this week. I am also starting to have some birthday angst. Well maybe not angst, reflection maybe. I am in such a different place than I was 10 years ago. But in so different a place than I had pictured myself back then. Not a bad place, just different. I look back on some of the crossroads I've come across and the direction I took, often wondering where the other path would have led. This is a weird space for me. I usually don't do that. For the most part, I feel I am pretty well grounded and try to live in today rather than the past. But still I wonder. Must be the fact of my upcoming birthday. I so often still feel like I am still 25. Yet I like the person I am now so much more than the person I was back then. I only hope that the next 10 years, I still feel young while at the same time, continuing to mature emotionally. Time will tell.

Shit that was a bit philosophical! Where the fuck did that come from?
Anyway, peace all!

link | posted by Slyder at 6:27 PM