Procrastination

I have been meaning to do an update now for a while; I mean a real update. Not sure how the time just slips away from me. I am a procrastinator, a bad one. Even in school. I would never study on a regular basis. I became a master of the all night cram sessions. Staying up all night cramming for a test, or just starting my research for my term paper due the next morning. I always seem to do my best work under pressure. Not this past week though. My boss gave me a project 3 weeks ago and Friday I got called in to show him the results. He was not happy to say the very least. Now I did have my excuses. The first week, he was on vacation, so when I actually had time to work on it, he was not around to clear up some of the questions that have come up on the direction I needed to pursue. The next week, I was out of town wrapping up rollout of a major project we launched. Then last week was spent catching up for the week I was gone. And also hastily trying to compile all the data I needed for what he originally asked me. It was ugly. The worst part is the way I have in pun shining myself far worse than he ever would. I have been in a slump since Friday. I have totally beat myself up over a relatively simply project. I haven't even felt motivated to post a blog. Felt that what I had to say cannot possibly be interesting to anyone.

Luckily I bounce back quickly. I have come to realize just how much control my super ego has on me. Today the boss compliments me to others on how indispensable I am and suddenly my mood changes and I am all gung ho and shit. LOL! I will have it redone and wrapped up by tomorrow morning. All this drama simply because I slacked.

On the home front, K has been working for a whole month now! And he actually seems to be enjoying it! For the first time in 2 and a half years, I think he may have actually found stable work and most importantly, he seems emotionally ready to be back in the work force. For those not familiar with depression, holding down a full time job can be a very difficult thing to do for those who have the illness. It has been a long couple of years. At some point I intend to write about some of the difficulties during those times. Journaling about it has been my major self-help through dealing with it. That and our friends. We are actually starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel, both from a relationship point of view as well as financially. Though I still am keeping my fingers crossed, I am so very proud of him and for all the hard work he went through to get himself to this point. I love you baby!