Tuesday

Mid week and it's just more of the same. Actually, work hasn't been all that bad this week. Got most of my early week stuff done, but keep putting off the data loading. It is just soooo damn tedious and boring. I find myself surfing a bit too much when I have to do boring stuff. I'll probably hold off as long as I can! LOL I do work best under pressure!

I'm glad summer is here. Mom gave us a table and chairs for the balcony so it is really nice to take the laptop and be outside. It has been really hot the past week. Tonight is one of the few nights it has been cool enough to get out of the air conditioning and sit out here. I do wish I was back by a beach though. I would take a bit more heat for that.

K had another interview today. I don't think he will take it though. He said that it was just for a grunt position and the drive each day would be a lot. Especially for part-time. I give him credit for doing this though. Whatever it takes to get him out of the house and back in life is a good thing. I hope he finds something that he can excel at and be happy. It has been so long.

Living with someone who is going through deep depression is a daunting thing. I have learned a lot about the disease, but still feel like I know so little. Even having dealt with it the past three years, I still find myself having a hard time understanding it. I still find myself thinking "just pull your ass up and get on with life". But I know it is not that simple. We have missed out on so much the past few years. One of the hardest parts for me is learning to not let it affect me. I still NEED to socialize and enjoy life. Too often I get sucked in and end up passing on things so I can stay home, Then I get angry with myself for doing so. Depression is like a black hole sucking all those around it inside. I have to learn that it is ok for me to got out and do things even though K doesn't feel like it. Some good years are going by quickly and there is so much to do and experience in this world. I want him to get better and I want things back the way they were. Someday I hope.

Sounded a little melodramatic there. He is improving and I need to acknowledge that. But God it is taking a long time.

Wish I had something more exciting to write about, but maybe something fun will come around by this weekend.