Sometimes It Rains In Paradise

Needing a change

2011-01-07T20:34:00.001-07:00

Sometimes you just need a break. A mental break. Something to break up the monotony and stress of the “real” world. Like now. Good time to write a post.

I have been horrible at keeping a posted blog up to date. Partly due to the fact I journal anyway and and also not wanting to share the tribulations that have been going on the last few years.

The good news is that having come through all that, the clouds have finally started to breakup and blue sky is visible again. As some areas of life have improved, I find it odd that attention turns to other areas that never seemed to be so troubling. Work for instance. Work has always been a calming place in which to escape. The job itself is not bad. Pays well and I do like aspects of it. But lately that has changed. Hmmm…, but why? Is it because of new responsibility? Maybe. The longer hours at no more $$? Possibly. The massive amount of stress and toxic environment? Could be. Or is it that for so long I have dealt with other drama that now that it is diminished, I am looking for it elsewhere? Like a fucked up addiction. Drama fix! LOL.

I do want to do something new. I find myself wanting to work in an area that give back to others and makes me feel good about what I do. The catch though…there is always a few…needs to be low stress, non toxic and pays what I make now. Someplace tropical would be nice too, but that is negotiable. Now, where to find such a job? If you have any leads, let me know!

Hmmm….

2010-11-14T21:22:00.001-07:00

To blog or not to blog…

Back...

2009-06-14T21:06:00.003-06:00

I haven't abandoned my blog. I just took an extended break for a while to work through some issues that life threw my way. Our dog developed cancer in October and we ended up finally losing him in January. One of the hardest things I have ever had to do was taking him in that day to be put down. Next, my dad got sick and I lost him in March. So a double whammy. With both of those happening and work being a crazy as ever, I just haven't felt like making any posts.

The highlight has been our new adoption a month ago of a 10 month old Australian Cattle dog. He has had a tough life in a couple different shelters. We had gone in looking for a specific dog we saw online. When we got there though, the one we were interested in just didn't seem to friendly.

This guy caught my eye and he would look up and wag his tail every time we walked by. He looked old though with all his gray hair. I didn't know anything about the breed or that the gray was natural and that he was actually only 10 months old. We met with him and immediately fell in love. He was extremely underweight and even after bringing him home, he refused to eat. Getting really worried about him we took him to the vet that weekend and she said to get him to the animal hospital quickly as he had an infection and was really dehydrated. Poor fella. Well, a few weeks later and he is doing great! Still need to get about 5 more pounds on him for his age, but is eating again and bouncing all over the place. Can't believe how well behaved he is and can even take him on walks without a leash. He never leaves your side. He still has some separation anxiety we are working with, but he will get through that. The vet said the breed is "hyper" intelligent. It shows. He learns very quickly and is just the sweetest boy.

Anyway, this is just a quick post tonight to let everyone know I am still alive and doing ok.

Peace

Hmmm.... Karen Walker for VP?

2008-08-31T20:48:00.002-06:00

I thought there was something familiar about how Sarah Palin looked. Then I stumbled upon this post at Gayzetteblog.com -- check it out. Damn!

Too much to watch, too little time

2008-08-17T20:29:00.001-06:00

I have become a daily Olympic couch potato. Damn haven't been to bed before midnight for a week now. Only one other time in my life have I watched so much of the Olympics and that was in the 80s during the winter games. I usually find the winter games more fun to watch, but I have become enthralled with gymnastics and swimming. Hmmm… Wonder why? But they do have incredible physiques! Not sure I dig the new swimwear though. They just are not spectator friendly, if you know what I mean.

2008-08-15T19:30:00.001-06:00

I can't be the only one that does this. I converse with other drivers while on the road. No phone, no radio, just me and my conversation. Now I'm not saying that I hear other voices talking back to me. I haven't quite cracked yet. I just tend to verbalize exactly what I think of how other people drive. I criticizes, praise, and even offer up the occasional apology. I do it all the time. It’s just sometimes I forget that I might not be the only person in the car when I do it.

Happy Pride and 4th

2008-07-06T19:08:00.015-06:00

Well, this post is a little late, but I felt like I needed to get an update done. The past few weeks have been busy as usual with work. Been making some trips for work to the western slope. Still have about 6 more trips to various parts of the state before I get this project wrapped up. But the past couple of weeks and next get to be spent at home so that is nice.

The 21st was pride which is always a good time. Our old roomie flew into town for the weekend. Anytime Johnny Boy is around it is pretty nonstop. It was a short trip with him flying in Saturday night. Picked him up from the airport then made a mad dash home to drop of his bags and head to Tracks for the festivities. What a blast! They opened up the other room which added an additional 14,00 sq. feet to the club. They flew in a big name DJ for the night to spin in the big room. It was a tropical theme so they brought in tons of sand and had a couple of dipping pools. The pools started off with only a couple of boys splashing around but by the end of the night they were filled with people in just their underwear or swim trunks splashing to the music. Wild!

K had to work that night so Johnny and I met up with Triskal and Toodles and a group out at the club. Nothin like clubbin on the night before pride! Thousands of hotties decending onthe place. About 11 Toodles decided he wanted to go to JR's but after paying a cover charge as well as just having way too much fun at Tracks I said fuck that, so Johnny and Triskal and I closed the place down. Like that's a surprise. God I'm such a lush. Anyway adios to Toodles and his posse and back to the dance floor.

Sunday started pretty slowly. We all had a hell of a time getting out of bed so missed the parade. Once we got moving, we headed down to the capital to get in some good people watching. Triskal, Johnny and I met up with the Dr and his partner to make the rounds. Caught this guy doing a little dancing so of course had to get a few pictures! Yummy!

Stayed to watch Martha Wash (The Weather Girl's) and got this video:

Monday did the amusement park with K joining us. Karaoke followed that night. Johnny boy stumbled back in around 4am after doing the wild thing with a cute little hottie he met and K got up to get him to the airport for his 6:30am flight. Like I said, short trip for him. But it was cool.

Then back to the grind for the short week. The weekend was pretty mellow. Didn't even go out anywhere. A few friends came over to watch the fireworks from the roof. You get a cool 360 degree view of the city from up there so you could see fireworks going off all around. Not looking forward to going back to work and then hitting the road again in a week.

Damn, the summer goes by too fast!

Yay summer!

2008-06-01T19:01:00.002-06:00

Summertime! Finally! After a rather bleak and depressing winter, I can't even express how happy I am that the warm weather is back! Shorts, flip flops, not having to wear shirts, volleyball in the park, and those oh so fun hot, sweaty beer busts! Ahhhhh.. I say it every year; I am going to take more time to enjoy the summer. Ever since I have been in my current job, summertime just seems to slip away. Projects, work travel, things just seem to pop up and prevent me from taking holiday. But more so than not, they are within my control to not let that happen. So this time I have time off already scheduled. Now let's just hope the task master doesn't postpone it.

So it has been a while since I've blogged. Did the annual pilgrimage to Hawaii the first week of March for our anniversary. Wow 8 years now. Hard to believe. I like going to the islands at the end of February or early March. Not only is it a great break from the snow, but the weather seems to be better than going a month later. True to form, we had perfect days, hardly a cloud in the sky and perfect temps. Spent ten days there this year so we could have more time to enjoy things without being rushed. Two days into the trip I started feeling sick. A couple days later I was running a fever and coughing up a lung. Then K comes down with it. So here we are in paradise and end up spending half the trip in the hotel room. I think it is the first trip where I have actually gotten my money's worth from the room! We did force ourselves out a few times to hit the beach and do some hiking. Also swam with dolphins this trip! That was absolutely incredible. Once back home I had to endure everyone telling me that if I had to get sick, Hawaii is not a bad place to be. Wrong you morons! I would rather be at home in the comfort of my own bed, then to have to look out the window at everyone enjoying paradise while I was too weak to move. It's all good though and there is always next year and of course the summertime to play!

Got the old roomie coming back to town for a visit in a few weeks for pride. That will be fun. Nothing like getting all the boys together again for a blow out weekend. I think everyone is ready to cut loose for a bit. Actually got my butt out of the house to meet some friends out dancing and
to celebrate a birthday last night. Can't remember the last time I got out to a club. Shit am I getting that old? Well doing the domestic thing we just don't get out like we use to so it was fun. Forgot about hangovers though.ugh. Got to get that tolerance up for the season! God help my liver!

Ok onto the store and laundry, fun shit. Until later..peace.

Still here, just lurking in the woods.

2008-05-04T14:03:00.002-06:00

No, I haven't abandoned this site, just taking some time off. What's new? Nothing really, same ol, same ol. Been traveling a lot for work and the summer show no sign of that letting up. I'm planning on doing an update post soon and then start posting more regular posts. Thanks to those that have hung in there. Don't touch that dial kids…more to come after these commercial messages.

Happy 2008

2008-01-13T19:21:00.001-07:00

Wow, it is hard to believe that another year has come and gone. Another year for me of trying to be better at keeping this blog current. I think I said that last year, LOL, well obviously THAT didn't happen! The past year has been more difficult than most, mainly the second half of the year. When I find myself going through strong personal or emotional issues, I tend to blog less and journal more. Sometimes one's struggles are best kept private. I guess I should clarify some. Nothing really horrible, just some of life's trials and tribulations. They just seemed to all come at once and that sucks. I had some personal issues that needed to be addressed and things look to be finally getting back on track. And yes, all is well with K and I. One thing I would like to figure out is that when I have so called bad years, why does it usually happen in the second half of the year? I'm starting to become season-phobic. But all and all this wasn't the worse one. I think that was 2005. Yep, it was 2005. That October fucking sucked. But now we are entering a brand new year abd things are shiny and new. I always see the light at the end of the tunnel, sometimes though I misjudge the distance.

And now for a little catch up (unless your more the mustard type). On top of a few issues I was dealing with, last month a unit 2 floors below our condo started having water damage to the ceiling. So both us and the unit below had to call out a plumber to have our bathrooms checked for leaks and reseal our shower drain. Not a cheap little visit. Two weeks later, the leak starts again and now the unit below me is getting water damage to walls and their carpet. So now I'm pissed. Already out the money for the first visit, it now looks like I will have to call another plumber out and have to cover damage to the two lower units. Ugh...

Just when you feel your head starting to creep beneath the manure that life is burying you in, sometimes fate can hand you a shovel. Upon further inspection (actually 4 days worth and ripping out the bathroom wall in the unit below me), it turns out the leak was coming from a bad pipe behind their wall. Woohoo! Finally something good. Still out $400 for the initial plumber visit, I won't complain.

What else, hmmm...I guess everything else is good. The roomie is back from his winter vacation to sunny Florida. Lucky bastard, and I guess I am glad you didn't get eaten by the shark I hoping would find you while we were freezing our ass off back home. I'm sure he will be hoping that on me when my butt is planted on in Waikiki next month.

Ok, thats it for the update. Let see if I can keep things more current on here. I have a lot of shit I want to blog about this year. Hope time permits it. Until then...Stay warm boys and girls. Laterzzzzzz

A long night

2007-09-10T21:05:00.000-06:00

I know I should get to bed earlier. But as I said last post, I have never been a morning person. I am far more inclined to stay up until the wee hours of the morning. Most nights though, I try to get to bed at a decent time, usually after watching Fraiser and the back-to-back Golden Girls episodes. The problem is that on Sunday nights, my usual shows aren’t on, so I tend to get distracted as to the time if I start watching a show. Case in point was the Travel Channel’s Samantha Brown. This time she is in Latin America. While kind of irritating, I find her oddly hypnotic to watch.

Anyhow, before I knew it, it was 1 AM and I needed to get up at 6:30. I had just climbed into bed, snuggled up between my sweetie and the cat, and had just fallen asleep when I thought I heard the alarm clock go off. Trying to shake off the sand man, I focused on the clock. 2:15am! WTF? Oh shit! It’s the buildings fire alarm going off. Adrenalin hits quickly as I leap out of bed throwing the cat about 4 feet in the air. I wake K up holler at Triskal to get up and start getting dressed. Barking orders for everyone to get up and start getting the dog and cats ready to go, I charge off down the stairs to find out what is going on. No one’s around as I find my way to the alarm panel. Auto alarm on floor 2. Shit, that means the smoke detector went off. Slowly people are starting to file down the stairs to head outside and wait for the fire department to show up. I grab another board member and head up to the 2nd floor and low and behold…nothing. No smoke, no flames, just the blaring of the alarm and the flashing strobe lights. Shit, another false alarm. I head back down to meet the fire department that is just pulling up. In the go carrying hoses up the stairs to find out what is going on. People are starting to mill around outside in their bathrobes and nightshirts, some carrying their pets or other things of value. A few minutes later the firemen come back down, shut off the alarm and tell us that they are not sure what set the system off, but that everything is ok.

Now with all the adrenalin going and confusion going on, you’d think I could be a little more concerned. But all I could think of was, damn these guys are hot! All look between 22 and 35, hunky, short hair and drop dead gorgeous! I’m thinking to myself how cool it would be to be rescued by a couple of them. LOL! That’s what happens when I get woken up from having so little sleep.

Well we all head back to our respective units. K and Triskal now are wide-awake and neither can sleep. All I want at this point is to have all the lights out so I can salvage some of the night. Not too much longer everyone goes back to bed, lights off, and now I am wide fucking awake. I hate it when I can’t sleep. It is like there is not one position you can lay and feel comfortable. An hour passes and finally the sand man finds his way back to our house and works his magic.

Next thing I remember is K shaking me trying to get me up. It is 5 AM and the fucking alarms are going off again. I swear I am going to rip them out off the wall. I trudge back down stairs and sure enough the same fucking alarm tripped again. I am now so irritated I head back upstairs determined to ignore it and screw the fact that this one might be real. K and Triskal have just stayed in bed this time. Here come the sirens again. Our neighbors have got to just love us at this point. I calm the pets down, get back in bed, close the window and pull a pillow over my head. The alarms finally silence. Back to sleep again. K, unfortunately can’t sleep this time and just decides to stay up since we were suppose to get up in an hour anyway. 6:30 finally rolls around and the clock is doing it’s oh so pleasant “Good Morning” wakeup song. Not 15 minutes later, here go the alarms again.

I turn on the TV and drag my sleepy ass into the shower and try and wash away this friking night.

Where Did Summer Go?

2007-09-09T19:43:00.000-06:00

It's a windy, cold, cloudy day today. Looks like fall is finally here and what is sad is that it is officially still summer. I'm really not ready for summer to be over yet. In all honesty it isn't that cold, but 65 degrees after weeks of 80's and 90's is cold. On the sunny side is that it makes for great sleeping weather!. I have never been an morning person. In fact my most favorite part of the day is when I first wake up. All snug, comfy and warm, drifting in and out of consciousness. Days when the morning is cool or cold, makes it even better. Curse work days! This weekend I got to enjoy this guilty pleasure until around noon both days. Such a slacker, but God it was nice.

The java shack is hopping a bit more than usual today. It was the annual Aids Walk and I think that brought more people out. What is really bad is that I forgot all about it. Not that I was going to walk or anything (exercise, please...j/k), but the fact I forgot about it kinda sucks. In the past we would take the dog and walk down to the park and socialize. The past couple of years it has just come and gone. Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't support the cause. I actually donate to CAP every payday through payroll deduct. So I don't feel too guilty.

The weekend all and all has been pretty mellow. Thursday though, our external hard drive decided it no longer wanted to work. Talk about that old proverb, "Backup, backup, backup"! All of our photos from the last 6 and half years, music, videos, everything all gone. Ugh. Now most of it wasn't that important I kept telling myself. Music can be re-downloaded or burned, the program backups I still have on CD, the porn, well as important as that is, lol, can also be re-downloaded. But the personal photos and home videos, that is that part I was sick about. I tried everything to get it going again. Even went as far as taking it to Geek Squad where I was told that it could be sent to a data recovery service where they may be able to retrieve it (for a meager $500-$1500). Now the money factor not withstanding, I just don't feel comfortable sending in my drive and having strangers stumbling across all that porn! LOL! Well after a few hours surfing the net, I decided to try and simply take the drive from it's enclosure and try hooking it into and old desktop machine I have. And boom, it worked! Saturday I headed down to the big box store and bought a new drive. I then spent the next several hours copying data from the old drive to the new one. It is amazing what you discover doing this. 28,340 pictures. 12,000 songs. Jees, talk about being a digital pack rat. But I now have the important stuff back and the old drive is still working in the old desktop. I almost popped for an really cool drive that is actually two 500 gig drives. That would allow me to easily mirror the data from one to the other, but cash at the moment is not there. Instead I settled for new Seagate 500 gig external drive. It's pretty slick and even has a light bar on the front that pulsates like a Cylon. Now how cool is that. In a couple months I'll grab another one so that we have a more dependable backup than the old desktop. What a headache. But at least all our crap is back and safe! I really lucked out this time. The moral of the story boys and girls is to remember to backup your important shit.
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Life is going good all and all. Still status quo on most fronts. Work has been pretty mellow so that has been good. The task master is on vacation and that always makes things less stressful. On the home front, K and I are adjusting pretty well to having a roommate again. It is actually nice having someone else around. The best part is that he loves to cook! The house has been smelling wonderful with all of his creations. I know it has been hard for him to give up his place and move in with us, but hopefully it is working out ok for him. He is a good friend and it is good to have him around.

I still have a couple weeks of vacation left this year and am toying with the idea of heading to Phoenix to see my grandma. She hasn't been doing well recently and I know she would love the visit. It has been about 5 years since I was down there. K has always wanted to see Sedona, AZ so I am thinking we may try to arrange a drive trip where we can stop there and check the place out. It would be nice for K to get to see the Grand Canyon too. By driving we would also be able to bring the dog with us. K always worries about Rusty when we travel. so this would be nice. Hopefully we can arrange the days off together to make the trip happen. I'm sure it won't be as exciting as heading to the islands, but it would be nice to do for my grandma.

Well I know the post of late haven't been all that juicy or exciting, but I appreciate everyone sticking around through this dry spell. Still getting through some personal shit and hopefully soon I'll get back to my normal self. And start sharing more of all the weird fucked up shit that goes through my head. So stay tuned boys and girls. In the mean time, here is a photo to get your minds thinking. It's so fucking wrong... I love it!

Reflection

2007-08-13T18:28:00.000-06:00

Sometimes it hits you like a brick to your skull. You catch yourself acting in ways that so goes against what you believe about yourself. I was actually lucky enough to grab a window seat at the java shack today. Plugged in, jammin to tunes while working on some budgets, I was totally lost in my own private world. It's times like this when I am the most productive.

An older gentleman was seated next to me all alone sipping his coffee. He was looking in my direction with an intense stare. The kind of intensity that for a moment really made me feel uncomfortable. I looked back and felt my stare take on one of those disapproving kind of tones. The darkside manifesting itself for his look pulling me out of my happy place. He looked away and then tried not to look in my direction again, playing with his book and continuing to sip his coffee. Right then it hit me. He was looking out the window. I mean I WAS right in front of it. The more I glanced back, it was obvious he was lonely. Suddenly I felt horrible. I could see myself sitting there with no one to talk to. Coming to the coffee shop to retreat to a somewhat social environment and escape the lonesomeness.

I have always had a vivid imagination. I am always watching people and creating scenarios in my mind to explain their situation. Most of the time it is a way to amuse myself. I won't go into the images I created for him, but it saddened me. Then anger at myself for acting like a stuck up twink who didn't want an older guy to look at him. God that attitude pisses me off, yet my first instinctive reaction was just that. Worse yet, I'm not even close to being a twink! Lol! Now this is easy enough to fix I say to myself, just talk to him. But being as shy as I am, especially when I am embarrassed for previous actions, starting conversation is not my forte. We spoke for a bit and I could see his eyes light up a bit. Nothing heavy but just a kind hello, talk of the weather, how busy it was in there and so forth. All with the hope of somehow making amends for my previous glance. Who knows maybe he never even realized I had given him that look. But still, I know what it is like to be lonely and I absolutely abhor that feeling. Guilt complex? Perhaps. We call ourselves a community, yet we are so confined into our own groups. I try not to fall into that stereotype, yet I stumbled. Bad Slyder, bad!

Work, Pride, and the Dumps

2007-07-08T21:26:00.000-06:00

Sorry about the lack of posts lately. Just not much going on worth blogging about.

I cleaned house yesterday. Cleaned and rearranged. Now that may not seem like much to those that do it all the time, but I am a lazy fuck. I usually keep the clutter down but have never been big on doing the "whole" thing, plus rearranging all the furniture to boot. I'm still pooped. In fact
I actually woke up with a stiff back from all the lifting. LOL! God I really need to get more physical activity. Either that or it just may the whole "thought" of doing that fatigues me more. But it was good to get it done. It was therapeutic as well. I've been in the dumps lately. Mainly due to K. K has been really down the last few weeks. Down a lot! And I have a touch of codependency. So this was a good way to get my mind off the stress of it all. In the past few months one of our good friends that was living with us moved back home out of state. One of our other good friends is taking his place, but left the 1st part of June for a couple months in Europe. K doesn't make friends that easy, so when one leaves, it is a hard blow. Two now are gone and it's taking a toll. When K makes friends, they tend to be the type that are very intense friendships. Not really the type to make a lot of acquaintances to hang out with. So the past few weeks it has really only been the two of us. Not that I mind that at all, but it is harder for him.

Work has been pretty boring for both of us as well. K has had work piled on him and STILL hasn't gotten his raise. I think he is bored with it, but I'm not really sure exactly what he wants to do. I'm not sure if he knows. You get stuck in a rut and things seem futile sometimes. I hope he can just hang in there till something new comes along. I don't think either of us can take another long stretch of unemployment. He has come so far the past couple years. Even more recently dealing with a demon that has hung around forever. I just don't want anything else to upset the balance or progress he's made.

My work is status quo. It may be my imagination, but it seems that more and more projects are being taken off my plate. I shouldn't mind too much as I've been overloaded a bit. However I am due for my appraisal and am nervous there is a darker reason for that. I don't think the boss has had any problem with my performance, in fact I usually put in more hours than anyone else since I can also work from home. But I'll feel a lot better after the review. I due tend to compete albeit discreetly, for top dog. We have an official team leader, same rank as me though, and what was my main project has pretty much been given to him. More and more of the project are under his control now and I find myself even being left out of calls and emails on it. Paranoid, perhaps. The boss says to just trust him. Hmmm....

Did pride this year again, but K had to work. Just hung out with a few friends then hit an after party at Vinyl that was packed! I usually don't get claustrophobic, but damn we were squeezed in there. The next day we regrouped with K and hit the amusement park for the day. Toodles and his friend got a really late start due to the party the night before. K was up at 6:30 in anticipation. I forced myself out of bed ad were able to make it there about noon. The others got there around 2:30. Hotter than hell too. Why is pride weekend always when it is 100 degrees outside?? But thanks to the water rides, we cooled down pretty quick. Long day, but what a blast!

Well that is about it for now. I will leave you with a little video I took at pride. They actually got a "somewhat" big name for the 3:00 act this year. I was surprised by just how many of the songs I remembered. Her is her most famous. Enjoy!

Sunday blahs

2007-06-10T16:28:00.000-06:00

This is a blah day. First weekend off after having worked 14 days straight. I hate covering for vacations. To top things off, I've had a cold for about 2 weeks but at least I've finally feeling better. Feeling so much better that I am getting stir crazy . K is working and all my friends have tickets to the True Colors concert today. That would be one cool show to see. So yeah, I'm a little depressed and feeling lonely and sorry for myself on this beautiful sunny day. Instead I hauled my sorry ass down to the java shack to catch up on some work before the boss gets back from vacation. How sad is that? (Pity plea)
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Right across from me is an old lady taking politics to two twinks. Hilarious. She is saying something about all world leaders, regardless of race, color or creed, descend from 1 of 12 families. A little off her rocker? Perhaps. But somewhere in my past I have heard that before. Maybe I am as insane as her. Would explain a lot!
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Well just a few months since Johnny Boy moved out of our spare bedroom and looks like we have a new roommate. Triskal is working on his master's degree and has decided to rent his place out and rent our spare bedroom to help with money while he is in school. Now we definitely don't have a large space, but it worked OK with Johnny. But Triskal has more stuff and a cat. Oh well, the extra buckage will help. Best part is that we all get along really well so it should be easy. Funny though, each time I get the extra cash to convert that room to a lounge/study room, we get a new boarder. Maybe I should open a B&B. Except at mine, I rent them the bed, they provide the breakfast. Sounds fair to me.
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We I know this next item has already been making the blog rounds, but when I came across it a few days ago, I couldn't help thinking how cool this was. Enrique Iglesias did a show in London at a gay club last week. He asked the crowd if he should bring up a girl or a guy to sing to. The crowd went wild chanting "guy, guy, guy". Well he did and someone caught it on video. What other straight performer has the balls to do that and make the night of one of his fans who just happends to be gay? You go boy!

Till next time. Peace

Ua pili anei keia 'ohune i ke komo hawele li a me ka holo wawae ma kahakai?

2007-04-30T21:49:00.000-06:00

This was a good weekend, though a bit overshadowed. We have been back from Hawaii for a couple weeks now and it seems that I am just as buried with work as when I first came back. I have been meaning to write about our trip since we got back. But alas, I have come back to a schedule filled for the next two months. What is even more discouraging is that my vacation for May has now been postponed due to meetings that were scheduled in my absence. Funny, take vacation and then get screwed out of another one. Oh well, just means I get it later. However the past two weekends have been spent working. This weekend was beautiful and the last thing I wanted to do was to stay in the house on the laptop. So I just packed it up and sat at the coffee shop and worked. At least I could be outside and watch all the activity!

We had a great trip. We stayed on Waikiki again, but even having made this our 4th trip there together, we still love it. I've actually been to other islands, but Oahu has the best nightlife. We, or rather me (I'm the planner), had lots of things in mind to do this time, but once again, we mainly just kicked backed and hit the beach. Got to play a lot with the new camera and that was fun! Actually did some boogie boarding this time. I've never seen the waves so good on Waikiki before. It is usually so placid when we are there in February with the North shore having killer surf. This time it was the opposite, except that Waikiki wasn't quite a rough as the North shore can be. We took another drive around the island again, but this time stopped at a beach called Lanikai. It was absolutely as beautiful as they say. Powder white sand and azure water.

After a couple afternoons of hitting Hulas for Mai Tais and hitting the local karaoke bar, we met up with some guys from Seattle. They were a blast and graciously took us under their wing and let us hang with them. Turns out two of them now live in Denver and flew out to meet the group. It was cool to meet another couple from home and even met up again with them Sunday for brunch.
One of the cool things about Hulas is that you never know who you might see. The first year we were there, Carol Channing walked into the bar. This time I looked up and spied a fellow blogger I use to read all the time till the bitch took his blog down. Daigle, I would have said hello, but you and your other half were looking pretty busy! Anyway I was being hogtied and hauled off to Angels. You are a little hottie!

There is just something fun of being with a group there and just cutting loose. Last year we took some friends of ours with us for the trip and that was a hoot. This time was mellower since we still had a lot of time to ourselves, which was nice. Lately we don't get much time together with our schedules being as they are, so this week was well deserved. One of the best parts of the trip was just soaking up the rays on the beach knowing that back home was having another big winter storm. I swear I could live there. Now if I can only find a job there. Ironically K’s company will be opening a location there in the next couple years and we have actually talked about moving. I sure wish we had an office there I could transfer to. I am far too hesitant to give up all I have without having something else already lined up ahead of time.

With temps in the low 80’s, the weather was almost perfect for the trip with just a few rainstorms that passed almost as quickly as they arrived. Unlike the cold and rain that met us on our return. A couple days last week it rained non-stop. I think I heard it even set a record. Glad it didn’t get cold enough to snow. The news said that if the temp had dipped down to 27, the resulting snow would have been over 30 inches. Ugh. Sure has made things green though. Flowers are blooming and trees are starting to leaf up. I love spring. Makes being back home a little more tolerable. Once again, home crab free! Life is good!

p.s. If anyone knows the answer to the question in the title of this post is, I want to meet you!

Please Turn Off After Use

2007-04-21T19:56:00.000-06:00

Finally back. More soon...

Almost there

2007-04-07T15:26:00.000-06:00

Well my bags are packed and I'm ready to go
The taxi's waiting and blowing his horn
I had to wake you up just to say goodbye...

Well, actually the bags aren't quite packed yet and we'll be driving to the airport ourselves. But the arrangements are finally done. 3 more days to go. Had the hotel for a few weeks now, but then our airfare fell through today. Ugh. Spent last night and today trying to find a good deal. I think I hit every travel site on the internet trying all kinds of combinations of routing trying to come up with something that wasn't too horrible in price. I am so spoiled in having prices that I have lost all touch with reality as to what tickets cost. I even thought about cancelling my hotel then re-booking a package, but at this late date, it is cheaper to just add on the airfare and wipe out all my Amex reward points. Oh well, never used them anyway and I think they were starting to mold. Wait, that's me. I need to shower.

So now that I have broke in the new credit card, I am once again broke. That's OK. The one thing I always cherished about growing up is that even though we never had much money, Mom always made sure we travelled. I have been very lucky. I have been to every continent but Africa and Antarctica. All before 26. Great memories and I think it gave me perspective I might not otherwise have. And the most important part, things always worked out. We always had enough to eat, a place to live, and clothes on our backs. There is more to being rich than cash.

Ugh, the internet here sucks. It is always a crap shoot coming here. Oh well, I need to get my ass to the store anyway.

Little Saturday Rant

2007-03-31T20:05:00.000-06:00

Every have one of those friends that no matter what, they are never to blame? It can be frustrating at times. Our story today boys and girls, begins last Friday. I had come home for lunch to take care of the vicious attack dog, and upon my return I turned on the radio to get a little blast of lunchtime 80’s. Out of nowhere I hear this guy come on the airwaves singing the praises of the station and how good it was to hear 80’s music especially since he had grown up with them. Well the voice was startlingly similar to my friend we will call "lil miss can’t be wrong". As I mentioned earlier, he is the type that is never wrong nor will ever claim to be sorry. Grudges stick with this boy like flies to vomit balls. So I call up lmcbw to see if that was really him. The phone answers but all I hear is background sound. Then it goes dead. No biggie.

The next day I take the vicious attack dog for a walk in the park to eat squirrels. While he is off killing the poor bastards I decide to call lmcbw since I wasn’t able to get a hold of him the day before and to basically just catch up. Now what do hear this time boys and girls? That’s right no hello, nothing but background sound. Then I hear voices. What’s that? A hello? No, it is more like, "see I can just press ignore and he won’t even know that I don’t want to talk to him." Hmmm. Now I see. I admit, I may have read more into this than there was, but my first reaction was, he really DOESN’T want to talk with me. Well fuck that! So I shoot off a text message somewhere along the lines of "If your going to ignore me than at least make sure your phone doesn’t answer so I really don’t know you want to ignore me. I won’t call again." Just then a text from him comes in saying he is at lunch with a friend. Then a call. Now, the more I pouted about this, and I am one DAMN good pouter by the way, I ended up getting more pissed off. I let it go to voicemail. Checking it later was lmcbw going on about how he was busy and wasn’t ignoring me and that he never answered the phone and had now idea why I was being so venomous.

Well boys and girls, it’s true. I do get venomous when I feel shit on, but looking back I don’t think that message I sent was all THAT bad! Anyway, for a week there has been no contact. So what did I do? Yeppers, being the sweet angel of a person I am, and always willing to forgive, I fired off an apology, knowing he would not. I’m not actually sorry; I still feel shit on. I mean honestly how fucking hard is it to just say hey, I’ll call you back? Or don’t fucking answer it and let it go to voice mail. Ok, enough rant and on to other things…

Wow, it is amazing that when you stop posting on a regular basis, readers drop you like a hot piece of poop! I’ll have to change that. Maybe I should drop some porn on here to boost the numbers! Lol! Hmmm actually that might be fun!

Holiday is approaching fast. Seems like forever since I’ve had a vacation. K and I are off to the islands again in a about a week and a half. I can’t wait to plant my ass on a beach and soak up some rays. It has actually been fairly warm the past couple weeks with temps hitting almost 70 here. Wednesday though, a little storm decided to sneak in on us and dumped 6 inches of snow. Winter does not want to die here. Just when it looks like we are out of the cold, it sneaks back in to remind us that March and April are in fact when we usually get the most snow. So a little Hawaiian break will be nice. It’s just the two of us going this time, so it will be a little more quiet this trip than last year. But it will be nice to have some time alone together. K works retail so days off are always opposite mine. So it will be nice. I broke down and bought myself a new camera a couple weeks ago and the trip will be nice to break it in with. Our old one died last year. In fact it was working fine before our trip last year, but decided to die after we got off the plane there. That sucked! I have missed my photography. This new one has all kinds of fancy shit on it, so it should keep me occupied this summer and maybe now I can finally start posting some cool shots. We’ll see.

Well boys and girls, that’s enough story time for now. Until next time, peace!

Sunday Distractions

2007-02-25T14:15:00.000-07:00

Your Brain is Blue

Of all the brain types, yours is the most mellow.
You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don't try to think away your troubles.
Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are.

You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.

What Color Is Your Brain?

(I never realized I was that mellow)

You Are Destined to Rule the World

You have the makings of a very evil dictator...
Which is both kind of cool and kind of scary!
Will you rule the world? Maybe. Maybe not.
But at least you know that you could.

Are You Destined For World Domination?

(But I always knew I'd make an awesome evil dictator!)

I think spring is almost here!!

2007-02-24T20:35:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe that it was over 60 degrees outside the last couple of days after our winter from hell. We are still getting our weekly storms, but for the past few weeks they have been small and we have been graced with warm temps between them. We were suppose to get a good one today, but it decided to head east and left only a dusting. In fact for a couple of weeks now we have seen the ground and the last few days, only scattered patches remain in the death grip with the ground. After 60 some odd days of snow covered ground, Rusty isn’t quite use to the earth again on our walks. It is pretty funny to watch him seek out a patch of snow to potty on. In one respect it is like even he is tired of winter and expressing his thoughts on the matter. More likely, he was probably just conditioned to going on the snow and is now confused as to where to go. Either way, it is funny to watch the “seek and destroy” mission happen. I’d post a pic of it, but that is just kinda sick. Of course that kind of sick shit is what makes me laugh. But I’ll be kind.

So here I am again spending another exciting Saturday night in the java hut. Oh well, it gets me out of the house. It really does suck to have the other half working on my days off. But it does give me some time to try and get caught up on email, work stuff, and of course trying to do the occasional blog post all while watching the twinks meet up for their hot night on the town. Frak I’m getting old lol.

Triskal was in here tonight too. Guess he has been here all day studying. On his way out he texted me to say that I was sitting next to his ex from last semester. Triskal is one of those guys that you just can’t figure out. Whenever he is not dating he always wants to be in a relationship. Yet if someone falls head over heels for him while dating, he wants out. The ones he falls for are of course the ones that don’t want a relationship. As I type this, I am beginning to think he really isn’t all that different than most people. We all have fantasies of the perfect person. And some people enter relationships simply for the sake of not being alone. I’m not sure exactly why Triskal and this hot boy broke up. I’ve heard bits and pieces of it, but I really don’t want to know the dirt. With him working on his Master’s maybe taking a break from the relationship scene for a bit is a good thing. Also, I have my own relationship to concentrate on. Hard to believe that on the 1st we will have been together six years!

It hasn't always been good times. Depression has been a third companion with us. The past couple years have been better though. The other half has been able to hold down a job and thanks to some good medical help, things have been better. There are grey skies though. The ever present cloud of doom thanks to this never ending war. While the Internet is a wonderful thing, sometimes it can add to the overwhelming influx of negativity. K gets wrapped up in reading all kinds of crap predicting the end of the world. He is convinced we are going to nuke Iran. He could be right, but once he reads something that predicts an actual date of this supposed apocalypse, he is convinced it will happen. I have almost gotten to the point of disconnecting the Internet and cable. But that isn't the answer. It lays more in getting back into life and not taking everything you read as gospel. Hard for someone raised with the fire and brimstone of the evangelicals.

Now I for one think we should have nuked that whole area long ago. Turned the entire Middle East into glass. Then go back in annex the place and pump all the oil we want. But I mostly keep that to myself so as to not cause more stress. Getting wrapped up in world events to this degree is just something I don't relate too. I guess that it's cause that damn renegade grey cell just can't sit still that long. Always distracting me. But for someone who does, it causes nightmares and daily obsession with reading the news. Yet throughout all this, K has managed to function and keep going to work with only the occasional stress attacks. Things have gotten better and they will continue to improve. I cling to this belief. It is the one thing that has kept me going. Living for the hope of a good day to come around. K has been needing a vacation, so I'm thinking it's about time to head to the beach. Or a cruise. We haven't done that yet. That would be a nice distraction from things and let us both recharge and get re-focused on us. I've been putting it off for a couple months waiting to see how money is going to be, but I finally asked for some time off. Probably get it the first of April, but it will give us something to look forward to. We have been in the gloom for too long.

Overheard at the Java Shack this week: One of the baristas to his bf,”There is nothing harder than serving the gays. Well except for working downtown. The suits are just assholes.”

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow

2007-02-01T21:07:00.000-07:00

Who ever wrote that song should be shot. We have now had 7 straight weeks of snow. Storm after storm keeps paying us a visit rewarding us with several more inches each time. I'm over it. The last couple of storms have dropped anywhere from 1 to 4 or 5 inches. Really this isn't too bad compared to the first two that left a couple feet each go around. The weekly snow storms coupled with temps that refuse to ever rise above 40, just means that it keeps piling up. We finally got down to pavement on the streets, but once again it's gone. I still am cursing myself for our deciding to postpone our yearly Hawaii visit. Ugh. So instead I have become a travel channel addict. Right now I'm watching a show on cruises.

Work continues to plug along. I have been fortunate that lately most of the storms have come on the weekend, so I can just stay in and stay warm. Today was an exception. A 15 minute drive home took an extra hour thanks to the superb conditions of our roads. Funny, now that I think about it, for the last couple of storms, they haven't even bothered to spray the roads with Mag Chloride. I guess they are just giving up trying to stay ahead of these things. K hasn't been so fortunate. Having days off during the week, means driving to and from work in the snow. Glad we have the new car.

I think the whole city is getting a bit of cabin fever. Driving home today the weather guy said that finally a 70 degree day would be in our future! When you ask? Sometime in May...maybe!

Snow, snow and more snow

2007-01-21T18:20:00.000-07:00

Meteorologists...bless their hearts. For week number 5 they get it wrong. Even yesterday they were saying that this storm will mostly miss us and if we get any snow at all it may be just a dusting up to 2 inches. As of 6:30 we have a little over 6 inches on the ground. They are now saying that when it stops tonight, the area will have gotten between 6-8 total. I think they should forecast like men describe themselves online. Expect 8, receive less than 6.

Frozen in Wonderland

2007-01-20T20:55:00.001-07:00

Well here is another weekend already half way over. I keep meaning to update this thing, but once again I'm slacking. Damn these weekends just go by way to quick. To top it off, they are calling for snow again tomorrow. This will make 5 weekends in a row with snow. For a guy that lives by the awesome rocky mountains, you'd think that we would be use to this. Usually we just don't get this much snow here. We still have about a foot and a half on the ground and the ice on our street is 5 inches thick in parts. This is all mostly due to our pre Christmas snow. Having temps in the low teens and single digits sure doesn't help get rid of this stuff. Ugh. To make matters worse, as much as I do like it here, I am much more the tropical type. Give me 80 degrees, palm trees and a beach and I am in heaven.

This is typically the time of year K and pack things up and head to the islands for week. However we are slacking this year. Normally I have the trip already arranged but I haven't really even given it much thought this time. We have been toying with the idea of heading to Europe this summer so we are watching the cash right now. But to be honest, the past few days have been filled with text messages flying back and forth about how nice it would be to be laying in the sun, having some breakfast at Duke's or sipping Mai Tais at Hulas looking out at Diamondhead and the ocean! To make my pain worse, I've been making my way through my collection of Gilligan's Island episodes. I love that show. In fact the first year we went to Hono, I dragged K on a "short" little walk from the hotel down to Harbor where they filmed the opening sequences of the show. Looking at the map it didn't look very far so we headed up the street. Well, had we just followed the beach it would have been like 20 minutes, instead it ended up being an hour and half trek through the streets of Hono! Now this was our first trip together and before we moved in together. All this effort so I could find the place where this scene was filmed:
I'm sure K was seriously questioning my obsession with this show! LOL! But once we got there and started exploring the marina it was awesome. Found a little shack to get some grub and sat out and watched the boats. I swear I saw the image of the Minnow sailing out on that fateful trip. It was cool. Well at least for me! Never could find the exact spot but the land in the background with the palm trees was unmistakable.

In the mean time, until we can get back out there, work is taking up most of our time. I think with the weather and doing nothing exciting except work, we are both getting into a downer kind of rut. It has been really hard to keep focused at work. I keep catching myself sneaking off to check the live web cam of Waikiki. Won't be surprised if IT ends up blocking that sight soon! I keep eating up all the bandwidth.

Rolo, K's cute little Geo finally gave up the ghost on us last month. Now you might be thinking, "Rolo?". Well the car kinda looked like one of those Rollo candies. K names cars something I've gotten around to with mine. So we found a cool, used replacement. Nothing fancy but a 2003 Cavalier in awesome condition. "I think my car should be named Dilarha. Its tukish." I have no idea about this one! It's actually the first car K has had with CD and air conditioning. Not 3 weeks later, after our big snow storms, the new car became very intimate with the bumper of a 17 year old Oldsmobile. Horny bastard! LOL! Just our luck. The good news is no ticket and absolutely no damage to our car. In fact there is not even a mark on it. But the asshole driving it is making a stink saying K crunched his bumper and is trying to file against our insurance. The one plus is that he has the same company as us, so I don't think they will let him take too much advantage of us I hope. I mean for God's sake, how much can a frikin bumper be anyway?? Just one more reason to get out of town for a while I think!

And....Season premier of BSG tomorrow!!!! Thank the Gods!!

Deck the halls

2006-12-24T01:10:00.000-07:00

Well here it is. Just two days till Christmas. Hopefully everyone that celebrates this holiday has finished all the decorating, planned all the food, and wrapped all the gifts. And what could be more perfect? Just a little snow to make the season right. I think most people by now have heard of our little holiday blizzard that came to town and left behind a bag full of snow for all the boys and girls. But getting over two feet is a little much!

We are lucky enough to have a garage so didn't have to dig out as much as some people did. But having an underground garage doesn't do you much good if you can't get out. No, we got stuck for a couple days like everyone else. All and all it wasn't so bad. Got to be off work for a couple days. So K and I just hunkered down with a fire in the fireplace and vegged out on movies.

Then there are the poor saps out at the airport! Our airport closed for two days and something like 2000 flights were cancelled around the country. Having a flight cancel sucks, because then you go on space available once a new flight is available. I truly do feel bad for them being stuck out there and now that flights are going again, the scramble is on to find an open seat. Glad I'm not there. No, instead I will be hitting the mall tomorrow to join the Christmas Eve shopping frenzy. Honestly, I think I would rather be stuck at the airport. I hate shopping. Yes, that's right, I HATE it. Let alone shopping in hoards of people that have recently been paroled from their 2 day snow cave captivity. Oh joy! (to the world...)

Every year I always put off Christmas shopping until the last possible minute. Usually not until the day or two before. But close enough. I actually have been able to get out since Friday. But work took that day. Today I was simply a slug. No motivation. Finally I dragged my ass down to the bookstore for a couple items. The only reason I did that was that I can walk and I didn't have to deal with parking. I like people watching when I shop. Watching all the gay boys frantically searching for that oh so perfect gift. But I like to do that when I'm not so stressed to get something myself. What makes things even worse this year is K's car decided to die last week. I was not really much of a car anyway but got awesome gas mileage. But it finally gave up the ghost and it was going to be two grand to fix it, so instead we popped for a newer one. But having to come up with the cash down payment sucks this time of year. We've been spoiled the last 5 years by not having any car payments. Now that's back and looks like we may have to trade in the other soon as well. We were hoping to trade mine in this spring and when K's when out it took us by surprise. We are also losing our roommate (been renting a room from us for a few months). No more rent income, car payment and Christmas shopping...oh the joys of being poor! LOL! So this year will be a little lean on the gifts, but that's ok. We really have all we need and that is more than some people in this world. For that I'm thankful.

Here is wishing all you the best for the holidays and may the new year grant us all health, happiness, and finally some peace for this beautiful blue world we call home.

2006-12-09T23:42:00.000-07:00

Back From the Abyss

2006-11-25T17:43:00.000-07:00

Wow, yes it has been a while. Hope everyone had an awesome holiday (if your in the states). I can't believe Christmas is almost here again. My how time flies when you forget to blog! hehehe

Let's see what the heck has been going on the past few months. Finally got a little time off in September to fly up north see my Dad. That was a joy! Actually the visit was great, just getting their sucked. I decided to pop for a plane ticket this time rather than just drive the 12 hours to get there. Since the time I was small, I have always flown on passes. One of the benefits of being from an airline family. Passes are a pain sometimes though. While you spend hardly anything you pay for it in not having a secured seat, getting bumped, and not always make hotel reservations and such. For this trip though, I popped for the ticket. Actually on because I couldn't get there on my passes :) Having shelled out cold hard cash for this short little joy ride, I decided to be a total rebel by wearing ripped jeans and my favorite torn up sweatshirt. Trying my best to blend in with the other passengers of today. See when you fly stand by, there is a dress code (something that would be good for everyone else too). As soon as I got everything laid out, the little rebel grey cell caved to the pressure of his homo majority and new jeans and polo shirt won out. Dammit. I did wear a ball cap though so maybe that counts for something. So I'm finally off to the airport only to find a line wrapping almost completely around the terminal. "Did I forget a holiday?" I ask myself. No. This sucks. Oh well, I'll soon be basking in the 80 degree temps Dad is having up there right now. Off to Billings.

Interesting little airport. I think they have like ten gates total. It's a pretty funky little airport and completely dead compared to DIA. Now for a nice little 3 hour layover I grab my bags and head outside into freezing rain. Not good. I call Dad and sure enough it is snowing like hell. He is about 2 hours further north.

Note to self...Never leave the secure zone when you can't check luggage all the way through. Back through security. Frak. I got flagged by the TSA. If you have never had this joyful experience, let me explain. You get pulled out of line due to a little code on your boarding pass. Then you get practically strip searched (which CAN be fun if they are hot!), luggage gone through and everything unknown to them fully examined and pulled out for the world. I swear the airlines hate me. Inevitably either K or I get picked. Last year K got it but accidentally left a metal **** ring in the carry on instead of putting it in the suitcase. That was funny. I think that guy turned purple when he asked what it was. This time I got critiqued on my selection of DVD's I brought along. Seems there are other Gilligan's Island and South Park fans out there. No toys this time thank God! That would be hard to explain in Montana. What makes this even more funny is that here I am getting on a 10 seat airplane for a 30 minute flight to the middle of nowhere flying out of Billings for Pete's sake. Like there is any threat there.

Finally at the gate, the gate agent pulls me aside and says that I am the only one flying to this small town and they are under a level 2 weather advisory and they might not be able to land. But I can still try if I want. What the frak. I say yes. We head out to this little flying van and get settled in. Off we go, up through the rain and into the clouds, then all of a sudden BANG then another one. Shit. Sounds like the plane is falling apart but we keep going. The look of horror on the few other brave souls who are with me on this journey. Next thing I know we are landing in a small town about 5 miles south of Canada. Not where I thought I was going to land. The pilot comes back and tells me they tried to get in to my town but no luck. You should see this terminal. It is no bigger than a mobile home trailer. Where the frak am I? Luckily the pilots took pity on me and get me an airline rate at the hotel they are staying in for the night and offer me a ride. We are gonna try to get in my town in the morning on the way back. We start talking and swap flying stories. Being a pilot also, it was cool to talk with these guys. They both start laughing and ask if I heard the bangs on the plane. It was the ice coming off the props hitting the fuselage. Glad it wasn't a wing coming off the thing!!

Finally made it to my Dad's the next morning and had a great visit. I haven't been up there in a couple years and even though the weather was shitty it was nice to be there. I miss my Dad.

Coming home wasn't near as exciting but I'm glad I got away for a bit. Since then it has been back to the grind. Hopefully I'll get back to blogging a little more often. Damn, I take a break for a few months and lose all my readers :( I'll have to try harder. Now to get everyone back. Maybe I'll have to start posting porn! That's it for now and until next time. Peace. And remember to check all your toys when traveling!

2006-09-09T22:24:00.000-06:00

Is it time for a vacation yet?

2006-09-09T22:04:00.000-06:00

Yes, I know, I know...I am a blog slacker. However I really just haven't had much of interest to post. Work has been nuts and that has been taking the bulk of my time. I am actually getting a vacation here soon! Woohoo! Not exactly when I had hoped to take one though. It seems that every time I put in to take a week, something at work has come up. I have actually been accused recently of being a workaholic. Not really, just that there has been so much going on at work that even my weekends have been spent just trying to catch up on all my projects. I think I was hitting close to 80 hour work weeks the past month. Even got myself so worn down I picked up a frakkin head cold. Ugh...Wish I was back in Homo, I mean Hono!

Anyway, I finally got around to developing a roll of film from Hawaii this past Feb. Played around a couple weeks ago with some of those shots and some video we took and threw a little project together. Don't laugh too hard. I know it's pretty dumb, but for only about 40 minutes worth or work, I was pretty happy. Enjoy. And no, that isn't me at the start. In fact I'm only in one of the pictures I think. Anyway, here it is. LOL

Pride and Prejudice

2006-07-01T22:16:00.000-06:00

Well this post is a little late but thought I would post anyway. Went to Pride last weekend and had a blast. The parade was a little more political this year. Damn, float after float of candidates. But I guess we need that if we are to get dumb ass and his cronies out of office. Still it was a good time. Monday we spent at the local amusement park. Traditionally the day after Pride, everyone hits the park the next day. The place is really cool in welcoming everyone, but occasionally you get those unsuspecting folks that are taken totally by surprise. Usually this is just a cause for some humor at seeing their faces as boy and boy or girl and girl walk by holding hands. But this year I had my first run in with a fundamentalist bigot. I know, that shouldn't be surprising but damn the guy got me pissed.

I was simply sitting in the eating area holding a table for our group when this guy from the next table walks up and sits down. He ask if I am married, which I guess he ascertained from my ring. I simply nodded. He went on to ask what was going on with all the gays in the park. I told him that it was gay day since pride was the weekend. He went on to say how disappointed he was and how it really demeans family values especially at a family park. I looked over to his table and there was his wife and two kids. The kids were totally enjoying themselves and bouncing all over like kids do.

I asked him why he was so upset. Did seeing these people make him feel insecure in his relationship to his wife at which point he starts quoting scripture. Now some people are really good at this kind of banter and have great responses to these arguments. For me though, I was suddenly transported back to my youth feeling like I was getting lectured again in church. I actually felt myself tense up and it took everything I had not to reach across the table, grab the dude and slam his head into the table. My feelings escalated as he started saying how everyone was going to be thrown into the lake of fire and burn in hell for this abomination. "Abomination"? I told him that maybe if he could learn to move away from hate and learn to love like Jesus did, that perhaps this world would not be such a bad place. He went on quoting to me. The only thing I could think to ask him was if he felt that his marriage and love for his family was threatened by the show of affection. He said "Of course not!". "Then what is the problem? Are you having feelings that you are insecure with?". Now he is getting mad. I just stood up and said that the conversation was over and that I hoped he learned how to let some love into his heart.

I was so pissed I was trembling. I walked up to K and Triskal to tell them the trauma I had just been through. Triskal had just been asking K about the guy that was hitting on me! LOL! I wish it was that rather that than some Holier than thou freak. Just wish I was better at arguing with them. But sometimes people are just going to be stupid. Oh well, still had a good time. Happy Pride to all. Peace.

1st Podcast

2006-06-04T20:27:00.000-06:00

Well I did it. Created my first podcast! I know, I know, I sound like a total frikin geek on the thing. But this was more just afternoon entertainment for me and a chance to try out some software. Not sure if it is a format I will keep in the future. I have a few ideas that I want to experiment with. But anyway, it was fun to play with. So try not to beat me up to much over it and oh yeah...you might not want to play it at work unless your quick with the volume controls. LOL!

Here it is in all it's glory...
June 2006.mp3

Another Year Older

2006-05-13T15:08:00.000-06:00

WOOHOO, they say it's my birthday, na na na na na na na na gonna have a gooooood time. Well, anyway, here it is. I am in a better mood than I was last night. Maybe the morning sex has something to with it, but I do feel pretty alive today. Still keeping this day pretty low key though. No dive trips planned, no rodeos to compete in, no big parties. Though I may go out with some friends and try shakin my booty a little tonight! Since K and I have our birthday's 10 days apart, we are getting together with some family and friends on Wednesday for dinner.

So why is it that so many of us have such a hard time with turning older? Our culture seems to be forever obsessed with age and beauty. The young, buff and beautiful. Sounds like a fucked up soap opera. So many guys still are still trying to be 25 though they are 20 years older than that. They hit the club scene every weekend, obsessed with the gym and keeping up appearances. I am bound and determined to not be like so many before me dreading every new wrinkle, aches, or grey hair. It has amazed me how many people have told me this week that this decade is the best one they have so far. As Michael said, there are just no more worries at this age. No more being concerned what others think; no more trying to keep up, just living to have fun and fuck everyone else. With age and experience comes confidence. So, let's hope they are right. I've never really been the twink type anyway, so I think I may fit in ok. Of course, after a few rounds tonight, I may be acting like one! Aw fuck it anyway! So if your out and about tonight, have a round on me!! Cheers all!

It's My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To

2006-05-13T01:37:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to me! I'm not exactly crying, but I am feeling like a bit old these days. Friday night and I am staying at home. Since my birthday didn't officially start until midnight, I am holding off the celebration until tomorrow night, my official day. And to be honest, I really don't have anything planned. K will be working so it may just turn out to be me at home. Some friends will be out in the clubs, but I'm really not too much in the party mood anyway. Maybe after a good night sleep I'll feel a better. While I realize it's just a number, it's one I've been dreading. I feel like that jingle from Toy's R Us "I don't wanna grow up!"

Alone Time

2006-05-10T18:27:00.000-06:00

Living with a couple other people can be daunting at times. Especially for those that have live a time by themselves. Making time for yourself is very important. Having that "alone" time in which you can decompress, unwind and really just be alone with your own thoughts. There is always an adjustment period to go through when you make the commitment to move in with your "significant other". (That is such a bazaar term, but I digress). Add to that also having a roommate. I don't actually have to be alone, just some time when I can be undisturbed without having to converse. I can get this by simply going to the coffee shop and immersing myself in reading. But some people actually need some space where they are truly isolated in order to decompress a bit. Usually I my space in the evenings after K goes to bed. K on the other hand has a more difficult time. With our work schedules, the only real free time home alone is on his days off when I am at work. Now the complexity. Our new roommate has the same days off. Luckily though this is only a temporary situation and come June the roomie's schedule changes to have weekends off. LOL this will now match my days off! Anyway, K has been a bit stressed of late. While hoping to give him some space today and tomorrow, inevitably things come up to eat into that time. My mom called and wanted us to join her for lunch. Ok, well then K will have the afternoon. Well, there was a dr appoint scheduled for then. Tomorrow, K has another appointment in the morning and then the roomie called saying he was coming back home on the early flight. Oy. Anyway I trucked myself down to the java shack tonight to give K some well deserved space. I called the roomie back and we are gonna meet up tomorrow when he gets in and go laptop shopping and then maybe hangout or take the dog to the lake. Hopefully that will give K the time he needs to rest up. I think it has been something like 3 months since he has had anytime alone at the house by himself. I get a little angry at myself though for always trying to be the peacekeeper and trying to make sure everyone is happy. I need to learn that something like this can easily be taken car of by K himself, by simply requesting a couple different days off. But it all should work out OK I think.

I like coming down here to the java shack and watching people. You get micro-insights into other people's worlds. It's kind of funny though, how I see so many of the same people. Since today I am down here in the middle of the day, on a weekday no less, there are no less than 7 people I see here on the weekends. Don't these people have jobs? It seems like a coincidence, but it is always the same few. Perhaps they don't.

Getting my alone time has given me some time for reflection this week. I am also starting to have some birthday angst. Well maybe not angst, reflection maybe. I am in such a different place than I was 10 years ago. But in so different a place than I had pictured myself back then. Not a bad place, just different. I look back on some of the crossroads I've come across and the direction I took, often wondering where the other path would have led. This is a weird space for me. I usually don't do that. For the most part, I feel I am pretty well grounded and try to live in today rather than the past. But still I wonder. Must be the fact of my upcoming birthday. I so often still feel like I am still 25. Yet I like the person I am now so much more than the person I was back then. I only hope that the next 10 years, I still feel young while at the same time, continuing to mature emotionally. Time will tell.

Shit that was a bit philosophical! Where the fuck did that come from?
Anyway, peace all!

Time For Some R & R

2006-05-07T23:19:00.000-06:00

Well, I think it is time for another post before everyone up and abandons me! There are times that works gets far to much in the way of life sometimes. K actually called me a workaholic! Shit, what have I become? I'm not so sure if I can blame my lack of blogging on work or just not having a whole lot to say. It does seem that not much new or exciting is going on right now though. I am actually taking a week off this week. Not doing anything really exciting, mainly just burning a week before thing get to busy to take one. A chance to rest up and just be a bum for a week. My birthday is coming up next weekend and don't even have anything planned for that. It is one of those big ones, so I think I would rather just forget it. LOL!

Trying to get the basics of life out of the way early this week so I can then just veg a bit. Shit like laundry, housecleaning and such. Yay fun, huh? But I am looking forward to getting some time to do some reading, hanging out, catching up on email and basically just hanging out and unwinding for a bit. But I would rather be on a beach doing this than at home. Fucking lottery just won't come up with my numbers.

Finally downloaded a program to try a bit of podcasting. That might be fun or really scary! Hopefully I will get this program figured out and get something together. K is working on a podcast too. He is wanting to do a series of music history which might really be cool. He has some themes lined up like psychotic composers and some weird shit like that. It should be awesome. He really is creative. Now if I could just get him to do one using his own music, it would be even better.

Ran into one of my friends down here at the java shack. He is leaving on a two week trip to Rome and Florence in 5 days, the bitch. That is one place we have always wanted to go. I told him since he already has everything arranged for his trip and K and I have free airfare, we may just show up and bunk in their hotel! I think he thought I was actually serious and the look on his face was priceless. This is a little get away for him and his new bf so I think he wasn't all that thrilled at the prospect of having two vagabonds along on his romantic trip. No worries A, wouldn't do that to you. Or...maybe I would! LOL!

My buddy Triskal has been MIA the past couple days. Finally heard from him on messenger last night. The first words..."OMG I got fucked like a ragdoll!!!" LOL! Bastard! Glad to see him so happy! They fucked all night and day and then went on a 7 mile bike ride. AND he isn't even walking funny. I always new this pseudo top was really a power bottom! You go boy!

Our new roomie Johnny Boy is all settle in and back out on a trip for a few days. He and K have ended up having the same days off since he moved in and poor K hasn't really had any time alone. Hard for someone who is just getting back in the work force after a couple years and use to a lot of solitude during the day. But they both seem to be adjusting. We knew this might be an adjustment when we agreed to rent out a room. But everyone seems to be adjusting. That's a plus. K and Johnny both made it into the finals of Karaoke contest last month. It was an elimination contest over a few weeks, kind of like American Idol. They came in 2nd and 3rd behind a girl who packed the place with her friends the night of the finals. Bitch. Oh well, they both did awesome and both got invited to perform at Denver's Carousel Ball. The Carousel Ball is big fund raiser for the Colorado AIDS Project and a pretty big to do. Very cool to get invited to perform for it!

Ok, blah, blah, blah...enough for tonight.

Believe Or Die

2006-04-09T02:26:00.000-06:00

Well I finally got myself out of the house for a bit. It seems more and more I have become somewhat of a hermit. I go to work, come home tired and then just hang out until time for bed. Boring, well... yes. K has been in the same mood. It is really funny how we play off each other that way. When one of us wants to stay in the other does too. The problem of late is that neither of us has been wanting to go out. Friends call, yet inevitably we turn them down and just stay in. Having had a bad cold the past couple of weeks of course hasn't helped the situation much. With K working in a retail environment, he is much more inclined to just stay home. I tend to start going a bit stir crazy after a while. But eventually I drag myself down to the local java joint, just so I can get around people for a bit. One of the biggest things we have going against us right now is that we don't have the same days off. It's hard for me to go out in the middle of the week and then have to get up early in the morning and drag mire tired ass into the office. He is the same way on weekends. I blame it on us just getting older and no longer having the ability to rebound as quickly as when we we were in our twenties, but honestly I think it more just laziness. However this "laziness" is having an affect of isolating us more and more. Friends are calling less to try and get us out. That is what really sucks. I don't always feel like going out, but still want them to call and offer! Isn't that sad? LOL! Maybe it is the weather. Hopefully with the warmer weather coming we will find our way out of this funk.

Several thoughts rambling around the little grey cells this week. This whole thing the past few weeks about the Afghan dude who converted to Christianity and was up against a death sentence for doing so. There are a couple parts to this whole thing I think a fucked up. Now in my opinion, any religion that controls by force is NOT a religion born of the creator I believe in. Many religions are like this and I don't mean to single out Islam. However...having a religious law saying that if your turn from the faith your are to be put to death is not something commanded by God. It is simply a way for the leaders of the religion to maintain control over their followers. I mean come on, why would God need humans to put to death another human simply because they chose not to believe. God wouldn't need people to do that. He could very easily drop a meteor on us; hit us with lightning, or any other millions of ways to knock us off. It is very presumptuous of us to believe that we can judge better than God.

Religions have for centuries used these so called "laws" as nothing more than mind control in order to keep certain individuals in the leadership and places of power. Controlling ones faith or belief system is the ultimate in power. The old saying, "Absolute power corrupts absolutely".

The second part to this that I find humorous is the Conservative Christian response to it. They were absolutely outraged that the Afghan government was contemplating executing this guy for converting to their religion. Cries of barbarism and brutality became their rallying cries as they voiced their outrage to our government. A government which in turn put pressure on the Afghan regime to drop the case on a "technicality". What really gets me is that these are the same individuals who wish to create laws to enforce their "view" of the world. Uggggghhh.... Land of the free? Hmmmm...Not sure if that is the case anymore. Maybe it is time to make the move to the Great White North, eh?

Went out today and bought K an Ibook. Yes, I actually crossed over to the dark side. Apple. OMG, I still can't believe it. Anyway, K will now be able to link the keyboard to Garageband. Works pretty cool actually. In fact I was pretty surprised at the whole setup. Hooking it into the network was a snap! (crackle, pop). Still can't see myself tasting the forbidden fruit though. Yikes.

For those of you that know me well, you know that I have one twisted, fucked up, warped sense of humor. Case in point, my favorite performer, Stephen Lynch. Now if you have never checked this dude out click here and check out a clip of one of his songs. Or check out his website at http://www.stephenlynch.com. Not only is he one sexy mother fucker, but he is twisted as fuck. He rocks.

Show Us Your Sign

2006-03-16T21:18:00.001-07:00

So as spring approaches, once again it is time for love. That wonderful time of year when hormones start flooding the body and mind. So for all you single boys out there in heat, here is a little guide to help finding your potential mate. Now I'm not one to put too much stock in astrology, but this is funny as shit.

SCORPIO
Sexy. Talkative. Energetic, slut at times, most erotic. Freak in bed. Good kisser. Not one to mess with. Always gets what they want.

SAGITTARIUS
Reserved, loyal, high sex appeal. Rare to find, so keep them when you find them. Good when found. Loves being in long relationships, kissing, and romantic.

GEMINI
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good in bed. Lover not a fighter but can still punch your lights out. Trustworthy, likes porn.

PISCES
Caring. Smart. Center of attention. Too Sexy, DAMN IT! Very high sex appeal. Has the last word. Extremely weird but in a good way.

LIBRA
Very gentle. Nice. Love is one of a kind. Silly and fun! Have own unique sexiness. Most caring person you will ever meet! AMAZING in Bed!

CAPRICORN
Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Predict future. Irresistible, awesome kisser. Great talker. Always gets what he she wants. Tends to be a little shy and lame in bed.

AQUARIUS
Trustworthy. Sexy. Rare to find. Loves being in long relationships. Extremely energetic. Amazing in bed, the BEST lovers.

ARIES
Outgoing. Spontaneous. Not one to fuck with. Have own unique sexiness. Unpredictable. Erotic. Funny. Addictive. Take you on trips to the moon in bed.

TAURUS
Aggressive. Freak in bed. Rare to find. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight for what they want. Extremely outgoing. Outstanding kisser. Sexual as fuck.

LEO
Great talker. Always the life of the party. Sexy. Horny all the time. Attractive physically or mentally (sometimes both). Can be Laid back or Wild. Knows how to have fun. Tends to be bisexual. Is really good at anal. Great kisser.

VIRGO
Dominant in relationships. Sexy. Always Horny. Freak in bed. Always wants the last word. Loud. Caring. Smart. Loves being in long relationships. Addictive. Can be a bit vain.

Ok, so fess up people. What's your sign? God that is such a lame line!!!

Oh yeah, I'm a Taurus and that ain't no bull!

Fighting Colds and Cylons

2006-03-11T14:22:00.000-07:00

I frakking HATE getting sick. I am the biggest baby when I don't feel good. Right now I am fighting a cold and it really sucks. But enough about that.

It has been a while since I blogged. I'm getting lazy. That plus work has been out of control. Had to go out of town last week and do training sessions. The trip wasn't all that bad, except we had to drive. 1100 miles in all. It wouldn't have been so bad if our schedule hadn't been so tight. It was up at 5:30 am and then by the time we would have dinner and make it to the next hotel it was 9 pm. Barely enough time to iron up clothes for the next day and then try and unwind a bit with some TV and catch some shut eye before we were up again. Usually I love road trips. But not ones where there is no time to relax and see some sights.

This week it was back to the routine, but now I was a week behind in all the shit I needed to get done. I think the drain of not enough rest just caught up with me. Ugh.... I am ready for another vacation.

Other than all the work, it has been pretty boring. Looks like our friend Johnny will finally be moving back to town and will be rooming with us for a while. We have an extra room and the fact that we all get along so good and he works for an airline and won't be in town much, will make this roommate situation not too bad I hope. K and I don't have the biggest of places. Just a two bedroom condo, so it may be a bit tight. But the extra $$$ will really help us in paying off some bills. And, best of all he is a Galactica fan.

I've never watched a show that has so captured my interest. Friday night has become a ritual for us to get together and watch all the hotties fighting the toasters. But last night was the season end. No more new episodes until OCTOBER! What the frak is up with that? They do like 10 episodes then take several months off. Just wrong! If you haven't seen this show on SciFi, it is absolutely incredible. Several of the episodes have parallel real world events. But sometime the show just plain pisses me off. It is one thing that they keep killing off cast members and now they fucking jump a year into the future and once again the world comes crashing down. Fuck, I am going to need some anti anxiety pills just to keep watching this show. Everyone is turning out to be a damn Cylon too. I'm even starting to look at people in the real world a little differently. I wouldn't be surprised if Bush is a Cylon. By your command, Imperious Leader.

From Sun to Snow

2006-02-19T22:07:00.000-07:00

I'm having a case of the blues. Maybe it is just the downer from having to return to work after being in paradise. Or it is simply the color of skin since it is so Friking cold since we've been back. Bad enough to have it snow the first week back, but now we are in a fucking deep freeze. In fact, I haven't left the house all weekend. I just stayed curled up under the blanket watching movies. Wish K didn't have to work this weekend, but it was still nice to be lazy and stay warm. If anyone knows of good job in Hawaii, hit me up. I'll be on the next plane back out there.

On to other rants. So what is up with all this shit going down over some idiot's stupid cartoon. Riots, burning of buildings and shops, more threats. Jesus people, there are more important things in life to be focused on. I understand why they are upset, but come on. Why is it that these 3 religions can't get their shit together? For Christ's sake, they all worship the same God. Ok that should send me to hell.

Here's hoping everyone had a good weekend! Snuggle up and stay warm!

Yo dude, just how far down does that tattoo go?

2006-02-09T22:56:00.000-07:00

Well after numerous problems trying to get a stable connection at the hotel, I finally gave up. Between, the beach, sun and hula boys, I decided to give up until I got back home. Anyway, got some requests for more details so now let's see if I can recap the past week.

K and I took 3 of our best friends with us for a little sun and fun in Hawaii. For those of you that have ever traveled on passes, you'll know that sometimes getting there can be half the battle. Ours started when one of group couldn't leave as early as we hoped. So we ended up spending a lovely night in the oh so exciting town of Houston, Texas. Yeeee hawwww! Picture a group of gay boys hanging out in the hotel bar that night surrounded by Texas rednecks in town for the rodeo. LOL! Wasn't bad though, lots to look at and we just kept the waitress entertained.

On to HNL... K and I have been there several times but for Triskal, Johnny, and Toodles, it was a first. Waikiki can be quite a lot to take in if you have never been there before. Palm trees, tall buildings, and Japanese and American tourists EVERYWHERE. I mention the Japanese tourists for a couple of reasons. One simply for the sheer number that come to Hawaii, and the other is the strange phenomenon that happens when K is around Asian women. They seem to have it out for him, like some sort of mafia. They are always bumping into him, cutting him off, scowling, and basically just unpleasant. It is like they are out to get him. All unprovoked. Just bazaar.

Now what do good gay boys do when they first arrive in Honolulu? Well since it wasn't just the two of us this time, we bypassed the room christening and made the b-line directly to Hula's. Mai Tais and $5 pitchers of beer. I love this place. The bar itself is not all that, but it is open air and funky. I think the best part is the people. Since most are tourists, it seems to lack the cliques of most gay bars. People are more relaxed and easier to talk too. Triskal and Johnny were a hit. I think they learned just about everyone's life story that passed through that bar while we were there. Even Toodles got drunk a couple of times and he NEVER drinks.
"Walking is funnnnnn!"

Day two was beach day. Now why is it that we always seem to get the worst beaches? Well, it is still by Waikiki beach so it isn't THAT bad, just a lot more rocky than the main beach. The boys got introduced to In Between, the cool little Karaoke bar.

Day three was the catamaran ride. Nothing like sipping Mai Tais on the blue Pacific with a boat load of gay boys! And then there was Angles and Fusion to cap off the night. Like I mentioned earlier, these bars in themselves are not all that spectacular, and maybe nothing like so many on the mainland, but they are here so this is where people go and that is what makes it fun. Now Triskal is the prowling type. Always looking. Luckily here you never have to look far. If anyone wants to know about which hotels have the best rooms, he is the one to ask!

Being together as long as K and I have, it is fun to watch the single boys. I swear they can spot a hot guy 5 miles away. Anytime we heard an "Hola", there was sure to be one close by. All of a sudden, 5 heads turn in unison. 5 guys stumbling into parked tour bus all because one uber hot walking tattoo. Mahalo is the other term we stole. Hawaiian for "Thank you", this trip it took on another meaning and reserved for the uber special you want to take back home. And, I think they each found at least one Mahalo.

Sunday was another beach day. God I love Honolulu when the Navy comes to town. Seamen for days! We did pop into Hula's for a bit. I had forgotten it was Superbowl Sunday. I never knew so many people were into watching a football game. Thought that was just for the straights and the Lesbians. What the fuck is this? I have soooo much to learn.
And what is a first trip to the island for these boys without the drive around to the North Shore? Cool waves and hot guys!

Ok, so that was the trip. Yes, yes.there was a lot more in the way of details I could share. The swim suit that kept falling off, the old couple that tried to take Johnny to the sex club, the drunken nights of debauchery, but I'll just keep that stuff secret. So if you see me out, just buy me a drink, cause my friends are a sure thing. Aloha.

"Buy me a drink; my friends are a sure thing."

2006-02-03T12:02:00.001-07:00

God, I love the islands. There is something just so fucking cool about waking up and being able to sit out on the balcony and blog while watching the ocean and the sunrise, slowly lighting up the beach.

We finally made it back to Hawaii, this time with our 3 of closest friends in tow. After playing mother hen, getting things arranged and everyone here safe it is finally time to relax. And of course, right out of the hotel and straight to Hula's to start the party. After a nice little settling in period of getting buzzed and meeting the locals it's off to In Between. This is the funkiest little bar. About the size of my living room, but they do have Karaoke. My boys do LOVE their karaoke. Triskal meets this guy, next thing I know the two are in the bathroom together showing off their tattoos. Oh we aren't a shy group.

Looks like the boys are waking up. Time to head to Duke's and get some food.

Desktop Madness

2006-01-20T22:55:00.000-07:00

So there is a little meme going around asking people to post a picture of their desktop. I got tipped off to this from Chadfox's site which led me on my journey to Sam's blog on Madlife.net. So what does a person's desktop say about them? Some are overly anal on how clean they keep them; while others like me, well... use it as a "desktop". Ok, so it looks pretty clean right now. But like the good son my mother raised, I did a little house cleaning before letting others actually see it in its natural state. Still a little clutter, but oh so much better! LOL! How gay am I? Anyway, here it is...

Feel free to play along.

To The New Year Ahead

2005-12-31T16:10:00.000-07:00

Wow, another year has come and gone. It amazes me how fast time is going by the older I get. Why is it when your small, time does nothing but crawl; but when your older, and you really WANT time, it flies by?

As corny as it sounds, I always take some time on the last day of the year to reflect on my previous year. What I am thankful for, what I accomplished, what I didn't and where I need to improve. Started doing that in Junior High and for some reason it always stuck. Funny when I think about the process though, what exactly do I do with the information? Not much, I store it in my brain with all good intentions for improvement. Yet I do it. In a way though, it allows me to cleanse for the New Year. A way of making sure I remain grateful for the good that has happened. So for the first time, I am going to share part of this.

I am grateful that I had the opportunity to basically begin the year off in Hawaii. K and I went out for a week and even had my Mom with us for a couple of days. I had the best time. One day in particular we spent, just the two of us on the beach. Perfect weather, perfect sea, perfect company, perfect day. This song always reminds me of that day.

I am grateful that my family and friends remained healthy this year. After my own health drama this year, this holds a lot of importance to me.

Grateful that I hold a good job that has decent health insurance. Also grateful that it is a job I enjoy and we have once again been spared from downsizing.

Most importantly, I am grateful I have someone to share my life with and loves me.

I am not one really for New Year's resolutions. I don't believe that it is necessary to have to wait until the New Year to assign yourself goals that are unachievable. Rather I just hope for improvement on current goals I have for myself.

To be more optimistic

To continue eating better and exercise more regularly.

To appreciate the small things and to always be grateful for the good things, not just at the end of the year.

To better understand that when the bad happens, that there is always good that come from it if we take the time to look for it and learn.

Get more rest.

To quit my bitching about things that bug me. I am far too judgmental of a person and I know it. This needs work.

I hope to not worry about things as much and spend more time living life.

Now I know, those sound like lofty goals that many strive for each year. Perhaps, but they are mine that I realized I truly needed to do this year. I still have a long way to go, so I only hope to come closer to them in the future. This is part of me trying to be more optimistic. I have been in a slump since I got sick and this needs to change. I am alive and for that I am truly grateful.

Here is to everyone; hoping you all have a wonderful, safe New Year's and the hope that you all find better days.

Peace.

Bored Out Of My Mind

2005-12-28T16:50:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm having one of those days. I just cannot get myself motivated. Not that I have nothing to do mind you. I just have no desire to be here. It could be the post Christmas blues, the fact it is beautiful outside and I am stuck in a windowless office, or the fact that I am the only one of my group not on vacation this week. Whatever the cause, this day is taking forever.

More and more I want a change. Not so much a job change, but more of a location change. I miss the ocean. Odd statement for a guy that grew up in the Rockies. I spent some time living right by the beach after college and I guess I never really got over that. I do love the mountains though, but there is just something about the tropics that I love. Florida or Hawaii would be the best. Not to dis Cali, but I really do prefer warm water. I actually found myself job surfing for a bit, daydreaming of a big move.

I think more of this has to do with the shitty few months I've had lately more than anything else. Being sick and then having a total lack of money has pushed me into my happy place. It's my coping mechanism. I'm trying to get excited about the Hawaii trip coming up but also longing for it to be a permanent move rather than just a temporary escape. I've already begun thinking about how in the hell I can justify this trip financially. Ugh... I need to get out of this slump.

The trip itself will be a blast. K and I are going with a few friends this time that will make it all the more special. Hard to believe it is only a few weeks away. Arranging this whole little adventure has been hard. We still haven't made our hotel selection yet. Getting everyone together to decide these things isn't easy. More than likely K and I will make the plans and then just let everyone pitch in. That won't be too bad since we will end up picking what we like. Having gone the past few years we have some good ideas of where we want to stay. The whole catch to this thing is that everyone is flying down on passes and that means "stand by". Usually the flights are pretty booked but the past couple of years we went, they have been wide open. So far, they still are. But they can fill up at the last minute. We will get there, I just hope it works for when we have the hotel reserved. I've never gone stand-by before with more than just the two of us. But I am optimistic it will all work out.

Ho, Ho, Ho

2005-12-23T22:11:00.000-07:00

Friday Rambles

2005-12-09T15:46:00.000-07:00

So I am coming out of Best Buy (geek boy heaven) and pass this nice looking couple speaking Russian. The first thing that goes through my mind, "Speak English, damn it!" "This is fucking America your living in you commie bastards!" I mean I even may have muttered it out loud. I actually started laughing on the way back to my truck. Not at them but of my reaction. I don't even know these people, let alone their political beliefs. What exactly is wrong with people coming here and speaking their native tongue? We don't have a large Russian population here by any means. We have more Hispanic more than any other group. I see Hispanic people speaking Spanish all the time and I don't react like this. The reason? Simple, I couldn't understand them. Though not fluent, I know Spanish. But not Russian. Even so, is this a reason to lash out? Well yes Mary Ellen, it is. You see ever since I have been small, I have always summed people up when I first hear them speak. (It has to do with this one little rebel brain cell I have. But enough about that.) As I grew older I learned to also pay attention to what is being said. I will create their entire life history in my mind based on 30 seconds of conversation. This life history will then go and be cross-checked against my "Do I want to be around you" meter. If I can't understand what they are saying, then I simply have no use for the person. Evil, possibly, but hardly malicious. Besides, I cannot believe I am the only one around that does this. Everyone judges others to some degree. That is God's intention. Just ask the evangelical Christians. Ok, enough of that... Onward people...so little to do and so much time.

I can't believe it is already Friday. I've been on vacation this week and it has just flown by. This was one of those, "use it or lose it" vacations. Kind of last minute so we didn't have anything planned. In fact, I didn't do anything of interest all week. LOL. I slept, played X-Box, and played with the dog. I still am not use to having time off while K works. I was good to rest and get away from work for a while though. Johnny boy is coming in to stay with us this weekend so that will liven things up a bit. T will be over tonight too to hang out. Triskal wants to hang with us tomorrow too. It will be cool to have the whole group back together. I should be home cleaning like a good boy, but still in my lazy mode I am sitting here at the java shack. Think I was just getting a little stir crazy. It's all good though. Figure I'll have to clean again once everyone leaves, so why do it twice? LOL! I have gotten so lazy. We really do need a houseboy! One last note, two months left till Hawaii!!! I can't fucking wait! I am sick of this cold fricken weather. I can almost taste those Hula's Mai Tais!

It's Finally Winter!

2005-12-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

It is finally winter. It started snowing about 11:30 last night. We have had it really good so far. Snow all around the city, but we have remained dry. Only ended up with about 2 inches, but it was nice. About 12:30 last night, some alarm outside started going off. It sounded like an alarm clock. Beeb, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Almost like the annoying sound on trucks when they back up. Anyway, this goes on for about 30 frakin minutes. Next thing I know, fire trucks are pulling up outside. Turns out it was a fire alarm. A few minutes later the hottie fireman are knocking on doors asking if we had an alarm going off. Here I am standing in nothing but briefs, answering the door for 3 gorgeous fireboys in all their gear. Well, we weren't on fire, but it sure did get me a little hot seeing that. Luckily, after they checked the building it wasn't a fire, just someone's unit alarm going off. With all the late night excitement and the nice snowy night, sure made for a great morning to sleep in.

Spoke to my dad in Montana today. They have been pounded with snow. They have 4 feet so far this week, not counting the drifts. Guess I should count myself lucky I don't have to deal with all that snow. I love being snowed in though. Nothing better than having it just dump snow when you can stay in and enjoy it. Get a nice fire going in the fireplace, curl up with some cocoa and schnapps with my hunnie and watch movies. Nothing better!

Here is something Dad sent me today. He cracks me up!

Happy (belated) Thanksgiving!

2005-11-26T13:45:00.000-07:00

Well, here's a belated Happy Thanksgiving to everyone. It has been a few weeks since I took the time to write anything. Mainly just taking a break from a few things to allow me to focus on others.

K and I spent Thanksgiving up at my Mom's house in the mountains. She and my step dad recently built a new place about an hour out of town. Mom got back into town on Thanksgiving day, so we actually did the holiday on Friday instead. Small group this year. Just my mom, step dad, K and I, but it was nice. I can't wait to spend Christmas up there. I have only had a couple of holidays spent up in the mountains. Funny considering we are so close, but the family was always in town. There is just something neat about being up in the hills, in the trees on Christmas. If the Farmer's Almanac holds true, we should even have snow, which will make it all the more magical.

I have always loved the holidays. K is the opposite. He hates them and would almost rather ignore them altogether. He has gotten better the past few years we have been together. For me though, that is such a foreign point of view. Different upbringings. But I am glad he is being open to our celebrations.

This year is rather mixed in my emotions of the approaching holiday. As I mentioned, I look forward to spending it at the new house in the mountains, yet financially, this year will be really tough. I think the gift giving is going to be pretty sparse. Though K is working now, we accumulated a hunk of debt over the past two years, plus close to $1000 in medical bills from my little illness recently. To top things off, the high pressure hose on the truck's power steering went out and the alternator. Total cost $697. Ugh...

Now some of you might be thinking and I have indeed been asked, "why did you take the truck into the shop to do the alternator?". Yes it is easy to do, if a) you have the right tools and b) you have a place to work on it. I was also on a time deadline since we had to have it fixed before Thanksgiving. Besides, what self respecting gay man would dare dirty his hands on such labor intensive work. LOL, actually I would. I love working on cars. I miss having a garage to do that. Had I had a garage and the time, the alternator would have been only about $100 (for a rebuilt one) instead of $400 for a new one plus labor. $400!!! Jees, I mean I like getting fucked, but not like this. Oh well, they are both fixed and things are running good now.

Well, enough for now. Hope everyone had a good day and didn't stuff themselves too much (oh, I could have so much fun with that statement, but I will be good). Stay safe and try not to drive too fast.

HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE SPEEDING

2005-10-31T20:11:00.000-07:00

Halloween. I have always dreaded Halloween. For kids it is a time to dress up and get lots and lots yummy candy! It amazes me how much adults look forward to this holiday as a way to relive their youth. For me, I always hated this day. I absolutely hated having to pick a costume and dress up. My own loathing goes back to 1st grade when I was given a cute little "Casper" costume to wear to school. God how I got made fun of. It wasn't a scary costume; it was a "cute" costume. From that point forward, I hated having to dress up. The angst of having to decide on what to wear, then go about creating a costume; a costume that gave me the self assurance that I wouldn't get laughed at. Oh the pains of youth. For many years, I simply refused to get caught up in the whole Halloween scene. I simply didn't want to feel left out and therefore kind of self exiled myself from the day.

It wasn't until I came out that I began to learn just how much the gay world lives for this holiday. A day to dress up as something different, escape one's own life for a day I suppose. Even now I still don't fully understand it. It wasn't until 2002, when K and I received an invitation from our friend Tim to attend his "Hellywood" party that this would change. Ironically, it was being invited to such an exclusive event that turned my perception of this holiday around. Drudgingly, K talked me into going; we made ourselves costumes and had the time of our lives. Each year was a different theme. Old Hollywood horror films the first year, Under the Big Top the second year (complete with cirque de soleil performers) and the final year, Once Upon a Time.

Hellywood happened for three years. Tim took this year off from throwing one. Going from hating Halloween to looking forward to it was a big step for me. I really missed it this year. But all good things must come to and end.

So here is to all of you ghosts and goblins out there, wishing you the happiest of Halloweens this year!

Hurricane Sunday

2005-10-23T19:25:00.000-06:00

What better to do when you are home sick, watch a lovely little hurricane.
Nothing better than watching the cute guys on the news channels get blown
around. CNN's got meteorologist Rob Marciano, a hottie! Fox even has a
couple that pop up now and then. Fox is actually funny to watch. They are
so dramatic! Normally I hate that channel, except for hurricanes. I swear
they all go into panic mode. LOL! I do feel a bit sorry for Florida though.
I use to live there and hurricanes are just one of those things you live
with, but sheesh, this is a little much.

So what is up with me, not much. Still recovering but FINALLY starting to
feel better. Been a traumatic week and just haven't felt like blogging
about it. I hate being sick. I become such a baby when I don't feel good.
Poor K has had his hands full trying to take care of me. Thanks baby! It
wasn't appendicitis though, so in one respect that is a good thing. But as
it turns out, I would rather have gone through that and gotten it over with.
I have a journey ahead so at this point still trying to keep things in
perspective. It is just one of those times when it rains in paradise.

But enough about that.

Appendicitis anyone?

2005-10-13T12:41:00.000-06:00

What an unproductive week this has been. I think I picked up some kind of flu like bug last weekend. Starting Sunday, I felt weak, run down, kept getting a fever that would come and go and generally just felt like shit. I actually ended up calling in sick to work Monday and Tuesday, which for me, is way out of the norm. I finally broke down and went to the doc on Tuesday. Basically I just wanted some quick fix or at least some good old pep talk from my doc that this is just a little virus that will soon pass. WRONG!

After spending an hour of examining me, they seem to think I may actually have the start of appendicitis! Strange cuz my gut never hurt till they started pushing really hard on it. Next thing I know I am getting a cat scan of my abdomen. Now, keep in mind, the ONLY thing I really wanted to do that day was sleep. From starting at the doctor's office at 9am, it is now 3pm and another doctor is telling me that my appendix looks a little abnormal and I am to go to the hospital! WTF??? I don't feel THAT bad! Next comes the inevitable phone calls. First to K to let him know what is up and where we need to go, next to my boss to give him a heads up (I am
suppose to be leaving for a work trip to Phoenix the next day, and finally to my Mom who is in town running some errands. The last one was the one a dreaded the most. She has spent so much time in hospitals lately, dealing with her brother, then my grandma a couple weeks ago and now me! Oy.

K and I get to the emergency room only to find out it will be an hour before I am seen. Mom finally shows up right as the are taking me in. They get me into a bed and wouldn't you know, more friking needles. So far, I had already given blood twice and already had an IV for my cat scan. I hate needles, no I absolutely LOATH them. Not so much the pain, just the fact getting stuck my them. And here it goes again! More blood taken and now and IV of fluid since apparently I'm dehydrated. Well no shit! They haven't let me eat or drink anything all day. Another doctor feels me up and then says a surgeon will see me in 2 hours! Fuck, if I was really sick I could be dead by now! I'm starting to wonder what is really going on. Finally the surgeon comes in and pokes and prods me again. Honestly, I have never been poked so much in my entire life and unfortunately it hasn't been in the good way! Well, now the surgeon doesn't feel it is appendicitis, but rather a viral thing. As I was joking with K and my mom that I think maybe I have that new bird flu, the nurse walks in and says, "We can test you for that.". "Really?", I say. "Yes, do you feel any sudden urges to fly or peck?" Everyone's a smart ass.

It was a pretty humorous night down there though. At one point while waiting for the surgeon, a cute young resident who has been working with me comes in and looks at the TV playing up on the wall. They are showing clips of all these hot, shirtless guys on some reality show. He looks over at K and I and starts laughing. "What the hell? Did you guys bring in your own video tapes?" LOL.

Left the hospital Tuesday night and headed back to the doctor on Wednesday. They STILL frikin think I have appendicitis! More blood and worse of all, they officially take me off work for a week. Not good news to tell the boss. He actually took it well, and just told me to get better. He even called today from Phoenix to check on me. He isn't usually the type to do that so it took me a little off guard.

So here I sit. Bored out of my skull. Not feeling bad, but not being allowed to do ANYTHING while modern medicine tries to figure out if in fact there is anything wrong with me. Grrrrrr.

Happy Sunday

2005-10-09T13:17:00.000-06:00

This is oh so true, lol! Happy Sunday everyone!

Hmmm....

2005-10-07T21:52:00.000-06:00

Got this in email today. I think there is more than just a "backache" keeping them up!

Finally Friday!!

2005-10-07T11:02:00.000-06:00

This is just one of those Fridays where I just don't feel like being at work. I've been here for 2 hours and have accomplished absolutely nothing but getting some good surfing time in. LOL! I think I am just tired. Stopped by the Doc's office this morning to find out why I have been getting headaches for the last couple of weeks. Tension. LOL, well I did know I was under a whole lot of stress. I love my Doc! His advice, "Go get a massage and relax!" That and a script for a muscle relaxer. But since I hate taking medication, I am going to pass on that for now. But at least I know what is causing it and reassurance they were not an indication that migraines might be coming back. Those just suck!

So since I have been here at work, I have had no motivation at all. Zero. So I spent some timesurfing my old frat's website. I can't believe how long ago that was. I wasn't out in college. But still had some fantastic times back then. Part of me really misses school. Things were a lot different back then. No stress. I was never the type that had to study a lot. Usually just crammed the night before a test and that was it. Spent most of my time out of school flying airplanes (I am a licensed pilot), riding broncs (grew up rodeoing) and way too much time partying with my frat brothers. I graduated with my bachelor's in Aviation Mgmt and Human Resource Mgmt. When I finally went back to do some post grad work, I ventured off into Industrial Engineering which is the field I am still in. How many times have we looked back at the paths we have chosen and wondered where we would be if we had taken a different fork in the road. All in all I am pretty happy with the route I took. I come from an airline family and have gone through two bankruptcies. Not the best industry to be in right now. The pay is still very good for pilots. I mainly chose engineering because the starting pay with the airlines just sucks. I had a large student loan to pay off and simply couldn't live on the low amounts they were paying new hires. Though my work now tends to get stressful at times, I don't have to travel near as much and I get paid pretty comparable to what I would be getting paid had I chose to stay in the cockpit (I still love that word. Wonder why?). And, since I keep up my proficiency, anytime I get the urge to go cloud punching, I can still do that.

Well, I guess I should try to get SOMETHING accomplished here today so that's it for now.

Is it the weekend yet?

2005-10-05T23:03:00.000-06:00

The week is finally half over!! Been a long week at work and absolutely can't wait for the weekend! Nothing planned except being able to sleep in. My most favorite part of the morning is waking up, knowing I don't have to get up, and slowly drifting back to sleep. I do have to work Sunday, which is rare for me. I am actually covering for a guy on vacation, but it does mean I get another day off next week. Instead I'm taking Wednesday off. That will work out great since I have to leave for Phoenix that night and I'll have some time to get some rest and pack before leaving.

The trip will be a good diversion from all the stress from family and work the past couple of weeks. Unfortunately I won't have a car and since I will only be there a couple of nights, I won't be able to go out and explore any of the hot spots in town. In fact, I'm staying in someplace called Goodyear. Have no idea what part of Phoenix that is even in. Wish I knew someone in town. Though the trip is for work, I am only going as an advisor so won't have a lot to do. No presentations to give and nothing to prepare. Nice! Maybe I can at least get some pool time in.

Grandma update: She seems to be doing well. She is out of the hospital and doesn't seem to be having any lasting effects other than being a little tired. They never did find out exactly what happened to her. They still think she had a minor stroke, yet the MRI failed to show any signs of it. Mom feels better and that is the best part.

Short one for today, but wanted to at least get a little something posted and bed is calling.

Weekend's End

2005-10-02T21:57:00.000-06:00

Another weekend has come and gone. Actually wraps up a bad week. Work was nothing but stress and then Thursday I get a call from my mom that my grandma is being rushed to the hospital. She was going in and out of consciousness and was not holding food down. After a battery of tests not much was found. They think she might possibly have had a minor stroke, but they can't find evidence of one from either a cat scan or MRI. She is doing better today though and looks as though she may return home Tuesday or Wednesday.

It has been another trauma for my mom. Last November she lost her younger brother to cancer. She still hasn't gotten over that loss. Now her mom gets ill. I worry about her and wish I were closer to my grandma to help out. She lives in Phoenix but we may be moving her out to Colorado soon. That way I will be able to help out more if something happens again.

Between all of that and trying to get somewhat caught up with some work (which I just never quite felt all that motivated to do), this weekend wasn't all that great. Now for another fun filled week of stress at work. The only bright spot was looking at some vacation stuff with K. We are planning to head back to Hawaii this February and this time some of our friends are actually committing to go with us. That should be a good time if we can work it all out and get some good rates. I love to plan vacations so that gave me a little diversion this weekend. It's really kind of weird having K back at work. Weird in that he is working on my days off, so I kind of find myself at a loss of what to do. When he was off work, I really use to some alone time. I mean, since he wasn't working he was home all the time so there wasn't really any time that I could just kick back and have the place to myself for a while. Now for the past few weeks, he has been working on my days off and I find myself getting bored. LOL! I think I need to find a hobby. Better yet, get my ass off the couch and hit the gym. The beach is only a few months away!

Procrastination

2005-09-27T23:02:00.000-06:00

I have been meaning to do an update now for a while; I mean a real update. Not sure how the time just slips away from me. I am a procrastinator, a bad one. Even in school. I would never study on a regular basis. I became a master of the all night cram sessions. Staying up all night cramming for a test, or just starting my research for my term paper due the next morning. I always seem to do my best work under pressure. Not this past week though. My boss gave me a project 3 weeks ago and Friday I got called in to show him the results. He was not happy to say the very least. Now I did have my excuses. The first week, he was on vacation, so when I actually had time to work on it, he was not around to clear up some of the questions that have come up on the direction I needed to pursue. The next week, I was out of town wrapping up rollout of a major project we launched. Then last week was spent catching up for the week I was gone. And also hastily trying to compile all the data I needed for what he originally asked me. It was ugly. The worst part is the way I have in pun shining myself far worse than he ever would. I have been in a slump since Friday. I have totally beat myself up over a relatively simply project. I haven't even felt motivated to post a blog. Felt that what I had to say cannot possibly be interesting to anyone.

Luckily I bounce back quickly. I have come to realize just how much control my super ego has on me. Today the boss compliments me to others on how indispensable I am and suddenly my mood changes and I am all gung ho and shit. LOL! I will have it redone and wrapped up by tomorrow morning. All this drama simply because I slacked.

On the home front, K has been working for a whole month now! And he actually seems to be enjoying it! For the first time in 2 and a half years, I think he may have actually found stable work and most importantly, he seems emotionally ready to be back in the work force. For those not familiar with depression, holding down a full time job can be a very difficult thing to do for those who have the illness. It has been a long couple of years. At some point I intend to write about some of the difficulties during those times. Journaling about it has been my major self-help through dealing with it. That and our friends. We are actually starting to see some light at the end of the tunnel, both from a relationship point of view as well as financially. Though I still am keeping my fingers crossed, I am so very proud of him and for all the hard work he went through to get himself to this point. I love you baby!

2005-09-23T23:22:00.000-06:00

Hmmmmm......

You are a
Social Liberal
(63% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(23% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Democrat

Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Picture Time

2005-09-23T22:22:00.000-06:00

Wow it has been a while since I have posted! It has been a loooooong couple of weeks. We actually made it out to the Wrangler's beer bust a couple of weeks ago. What a blast! Our friend Johnny made it back to town for a visit and he was actually able to get us out of the house. Funny how bad I felt the next day, and I never even finished my one beer! Actually you pay $7.00 for a cup and then they just keep refilling it all night. Honestly officer, I only had 1 beer.

This is Johnny, a flyboy now living in Utah. Incredible singing voice and ALWAYS full of energy.
This is part of my Cadre. Johnny is on the left, Triskal in the middle and K, my Prince Charming on the right.

Here is Triskal, T and Prince Charming. T is the other part of the Cadre.

I've met all these guys through K. T was the first. Before K and I started dating, T actually used to stalk him. He would have his friends call him when K went to the java shack so that he could come down and try to meet him. He isn't as freaky as that sounds. LOL! He is one of the sweetest guys you could ever meet.

Triskal we have known for a couple years. He grew up here but then got exiled to Florida for a few years. Luckily he came back and now lives just a block from us. He has helped me through some really dark times the past couple of years. He rocks!

Not sure how, but all three are single. Who ever snags one of these sexy boys is gonna be damn lucky!

If it weren't for these guys, K and I would be lost I think. They have been there for us in through thick and thin and each would do absolutely anything for their friends. Between Prince Charming and these guys, I am one lucky fuck!

Little buddy, you finally made it off the island.

2005-09-07T20:48:00.000-06:00

I haven't blogged much about New Orleans. I guess because it is just too awful for me to try to get into words. Besides, others have done a much better job than I could have.

In the midst of watching the ongoing horror reports, yesterday they announced that Bob Denver, good ol' Gilligan, has passed away.

Like many, I grew up on reruns of this show. I dreamed of living on a tropical island like that in the show. To this day, my love of tropical places is pervasive in most of my travels. Life there was simple. A wonderful escape for a young kid to go to escape the pains of divorcing parents, loneliness, and the general pains of growing up gay in straight world. It was my haven, my paradise. A place that always made me smile. They always came up with an answer for all of their troubles. I still fantasize about living on a small tropical island. Though I would like to take my prince charming, a small group of friends and my internet connection lol! I will miss you Gilligan but luckily you left us your life on the island on DVD! Think I'll go buy a coconut cream pie.

Is Rain from a Hurricane Salty?

2005-08-30T21:44:00.000-06:00

So today while looking through the search terms that people have used to find my site, I come across this: "is rain from a hurricane salty?" LOL!

So there goes my one of my renegade brain cells picturing Hurricane Katrina passing through the gulf over a big aircraft carrier full of seamen. Other images come to mind. I swear that little cell is a bad influence on the others.

As I stated a while back, Hurricanes do glue me to the TV. I'm not sure if it is the cute reporter boys getting blown (there he goes again!) around in the wind or just the utter amazement of nature's fury. Like Scott mentioned in his blog Monday, this one has more of a human face than the ones prior. Not the people like the reporters that willing put themselves in harm's way or others that CHOOSE to stay, but for those that couldn't leave. I feel horrible for those that have lost everything. And part of me too, feels guilty for the pleasure I get out of watching the hurricane pass. But I continue to watch. Sick fuck? That I admit, but I do have a conscience. Please give what you can to the Red Cross.

Oh to be a Crocodile!

2005-08-25T21:14:00.000-06:00

One more day till the weekend! Thank GOD! We are in the middle of rolling out a new labor management program at work and have been doing nothing but giving training classes on it for the last couple weeks. In the mean time, my regular work just keeps piling up. I hadn't been able to check my work email in a few days and just checked it tonight, 256 unread messages. Oy. Why do some people feel the need to send out email to EVERYONE when they really just need to send it to one or two people? I've never understood that. Delete, Delete, Delete, Delete. LOL well there goes half of it. Hopefully tomorrow I can get through the rest of it.

K (Prince Charming) starts his new job tomorrow!!!!! He has been off work for about 2 years. Had a few part time jobs, but nothing that he wanted to stay with. Depression has played a major part of the last couple years. He seems really excited about this one, so I hope it works out. While having to go to work everyday sucks, I admit, it can provide one with a sense of self worth. It is so good to see him excited

Not much more for tonight, but I will leave you with this. Another picture I came across featuring soldier boys. It is from a towel company print ad that appeared in Life Magazine in 1942.

Wow! Reminds me I need to get some of those. hehehe

It's the Army

2005-08-22T20:17:00.000-06:00

So lately I've been seeing all these tv ads for joining the army lately. Granted recruitment is down, but perhaps they should try some good old fashioned print ads. Got this in email and it totally cracked me up.

Make you almost wanna enlist huh? NOT!

Bottoms Up

2005-08-20T14:59:00.000-06:00

Yay camping!

2005-08-15T22:34:00.000-06:00

Well, another couple of weeks has gone by without a post. I'm a bad blogger! lol! K and I actually went camping a couple weekends ago. The day we left, it was pouring down rain. Had to go pick up the trailer, get it hooked up and loaded. By the time I was through I was soaking wet! K doesn't much care for road trips, so this started things out on a bad note. Oh yeah, I own a 1965 Airstream trailer that has been in family since it was new. It's small, but rocks for the two of us.

K doesn't much care for road trips, so this started things out on a bad note. But the weather cleared up before we got to the lake and found a spot and got settled. It was great being back up at the lake. I have a lot of memories from this place growing up. It was really cool to see that it hadn't changed a whole lot.

Sitting up around a campfire at night is one of the things I love about camping. Staying up late, rappin and getting drunk is all part of the fun. But K stayed up until it started to get dark, but not much later each night so I some me time to watch the fire and look at the stars. I wish he were into the whole experience like me. I did actually get him to go fishing with me! He hasn't done it much, but for a rookie he was pretty good. He could actually bait his own hook and cast! Pretty damn butch for a gay boy!! Wish we would have caught some though. Oh well, just chillin by the lake was awesome. Our dog, Rusty could not understand why he couldn't swim while we were fishing. What the fuck? Come all the way to the lake and not swim???

I'm glad K had a good time though. It was the first trip we have taken and I was really unsure if he would have a good time. He is really a quiet type and sometimes that drives me nuts. I'm use to people just saying whatever is on their mind and he keeps a lot inside. Reading him can be difficult, even after all the time we have been together. But it was a good trip. We want to bring a couple friends next time and I think then he will be more relaxed about the whole camping thing. Hmmm 4 gay boys in a small little trailer in the middle of the dark forest. What WILL we do?

Got a few cool pictures, but wish I had a way to recharge the battery. The only part that really sucked was the beginning of the trip (the rain) and coming home. My ignition switch decided to finally die. The fucker completely froze up and you couldn't even turn the engine off once it started. Drove into town, got a room for the night and called a locksmith. 4 hours of work and he finally got it replaced. I love AAA. A Sunday emergency call and 4 hours of labor would have cost a damn fortune. They paid for it all!

Back at home, it has been back to the routine. Work frakking sucks this month. I hate putting on training meetings and that is all we are doing. Long hours going over the same thing again and again. Ughhh. K starts work in a couple weeks! Fuck yeah! I hope this is one that he sticks with. The past couple years have been ugly. His depression has kept him from being able to hold anything for more than a couple weeks and money has gotten tight. Plus, to have a few hours at home alone once in a while will rock. Don't get me wrong, I love him to death, but sometimes you just want some alone time.

Tim had his annual pool party this weekend. It has been hotter here than 4 naked twinks in a sauna lately but this Saturday we got hit with a cold front and rain. 60 fricken degrees out. Some gay boys just can't resist getting naked and wet even in the cold. This was just the start then more and more. One shirt comes off, and then more clothes go flying.

Free food and lots and lots of free booze. Mix that with 150 hot gay boys and ooooo what fun!

Been a while

2005-07-30T21:22:00.000-06:00

Yes, yes, it has been quite some time since I've written anything. Just haven't felt real inspired. I am amazed at where the summer has gone. When I was young I use to live for summer time. No school, no work, just playing outside all day long. Growing up sucks sometimes. Especially when you can't even get an extra day off :(

I've been doing some blog surfing of late. Apparently there is this new thing that on one day a week you post a picture of a random part of your body. Now reading this, my perv mind immediately sparks an interest and low and behold what do I see, some pic of a guys thigh. Not exactly what I was expecting. Naughty sly, naughty. Don't get me wrong though, I do love a good leg, but a pic of a thigh is just kinda weird. I surf over to a couple more blogs. Two more thighs. It must have been thigh Thursday.

Still no job for K. This sucks. I honestly believe he is trying. He has had a couple of interviews but still no call. I guess I just expect him to be out of the house going door to door or something. Unrealistic I understand. Most companies these days want you to email in your application or resume rather than dealing with you face to face. And K is doing that. Every morning. Hopefully now that school will be starting soon, more positions will be available. I think what bugs me most is how he is reacting to it all. I understand the disappointment, but he just holes up in the house and wants to sleep. Almost three years of living with this depression is starting to take a toll.
I think I need a vacation. Hawaii or San Francisco. Only been to S.F. twice, but that was when I was small. I guess it is like Mecca calling. Every good gay boy needs to make a pilgrimage at least once after they are out.

I did actually go out to Tracks last weekend with our friend Nathan. I don't actually know him that well, but he lives a few doors down from us. Ex-military guy that still works for them in a civilian position now. Now from the first time I met him, I noticed his eyes. I read a lot into someone's eyes and there has always been something about his that struck me as odd. Not cross eyed or missing one or anything like that. They look kinda mean. Nathan turned out to be a really great guy to hang with. When K and I first started going out, he use to live in an apartment that was like a gay frat house. We would go clubbing and he would point and say, "he lives in my building. And he lives in my building." And so on and so on. The night at Tracks with Nathan was like that. Except it was, "he's military. And so is he." Never knew there were so many gay air force boys that hung out there. Thought he was just making it up till I met some of them. LOL

Ok, enough for now.

Ahh -- Hurricane season is here!

2005-07-11T12:46:00.000-06:00

Hurricane season is here. For those that know me, you understand how obsessed I get with watching hurricane coverage. I also have a very dry sense and warped sense of humor. Last year it was like every weekend there was a new one to watch. Some people watch football. I watch hurricane coverage. This weekend was Dennis and for once it hit during the day. Didn't have to stay up all night watching it. For some reason I have this morbid fascination with these storms. Might be due to my time spent living on the Florida coast. When I was really, yes REALLY young, we use to drive down to Florida to visit my great-grandparents. My folks use to always take pictures of the drive down there. We have picks of the trip before Camille in 69 and the year after. They always fascinated me. They call tornados the finger of god. Hurricanes are his fist. One of my earliest memories is stopping at a gas station in Alabama a few months after Camille and thinking how strange it looked. There was nothing there but the pumps. The hydraulic lifts they used to fix cars were still there and they were doing work on cars. No walls! Just out there in the open air! So anyway, once again I planted my butt on the couch and watched Anderson Cooper from CNN almost get wiped out by a flying Ramada sign. I love watching those guys dodge debris and hanging onto trees to keep from getting blown away. Makes me laugh. I don't feel bad; I figure it is their choice to be out in that stuff. I should try to remember that they do that to give info to the people being affected and not just for my own amusement. Don't get me wrong, I do feel bad for those people that lose their homes, loved ones and livelihoods from those monster storms. But to see reporters running from debris, screaming in terror and generally just getting beat to shit by wind and rain makes me laugh.

I'm a sick fuck. Lol!

Saturday

2005-07-02T20:49:00.000-06:00

The past couple of weeks have been good. K has started back on Effexor, a medication that he first started on when the depression first hit. It seems to be helping. Last weekend was the Fest and he actually seemed to have fun. Sunday we went to park with friends. He wasn't as talkative as he use to be, but he had a blast. It was good to see him smiling again. He LOVES rollercoasters! hehehe. He has been a lot more upbeat this week to. We have his parents coming out to visit tomorrow on the pass through town to the mountains. The past few days you can hardly tell they will be here by his reaction to this. Normally he would sleep all week and be really down dreading the visit. The meds are definitely having a good effect on him! Tomorrow will be the test. No plans so far for the 4th, but hopefully we can find something fun to do

Work has been pretty stressful this week. Bossman wanted me to add some more info to a report that someone else had put together and wouldn't you know, after the rush to get it done and then revised twice, some data was wrong. Unfortunately he didn’t catch it until presenting it at the meeting. Ultimately it was my fault, yet only through circumstance. A database table was labeled wrong thus resulting in bad results. Oh well, I should have error checked and would have, had I been given the time. I beat myself up WAY too often for stupid shit.

I'm sitting in the coffee shop right now writing this listening to two lesbians going off on Bush. Hilarious. One is so upset about him that she physically bouncing up and down while talking about it. You go girl! I love the coffee shop. Actually I love coffee! I have a couple that I go to depending on my mood. The other one is a lot more of a mixed crowd than here. It is funny to see straight people walk in and see a group of twinks being themselves. Their reactions always make me laugh.

Three high school girls and one gay boy just came in and sat down. Then the gay boy sees someone he likes and heads outside. Now I am listening to these girls gossiping about him and rooting him on. Sometimes I wish I were still back in high school and out. There is so much more acceptance these days than when I was in school. They are so funny to listen too. LOL.

Just A Rant

2005-06-26T23:05:00.000-06:00

Ok, just a rant concerning the US Supreme Court's decision that Cities and Municipalities can use their right of eminent domain seize private land, not just to clear the way for public projects such as roads and parks, but also for private developments involving hotels, offices and retail centers. It seems to me that we are becoming more and more like a nation we fought against 60 years ago. The use of our bases as detention camps, the restriction of personal rights, the use of war simply to advance a few peoples world agendas. Like the saying goes, if we forget our past, we are doomed to repeat it. Below is a quote that to me seems very applicable these days.

"Of course the people don't want war. But after all, it's the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it's always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it's a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger. It works the same in every country."

Hermann Goering. Hitler's Reich-Marshall at the Nuremberg Trails after WWII

Tuesday

2005-06-21T21:35:00.000-06:00

Mid week and it's just more of the same. Actually, work hasn't been all that bad this week. Got most of my early week stuff done, but keep putting off the data loading. It is just soooo damn tedious and boring. I find myself surfing a bit too much when I have to do boring stuff. I'll probably hold off as long as I can! LOL I do work best under pressure!

I'm glad summer is here. Mom gave us a table and chairs for the balcony so it is really nice to take the laptop and be outside. It has been really hot the past week. Tonight is one of the few nights it has been cool enough to get out of the air conditioning and sit out here. I do wish I was back by a beach though. I would take a bit more heat for that.

K had another interview today. I don't think he will take it though. He said that it was just for a grunt position and the drive each day would be a lot. Especially for part-time. I give him credit for doing this though. Whatever it takes to get him out of the house and back in life is a good thing. I hope he finds something that he can excel at and be happy. It has been so long.

Living with someone who is going through deep depression is a daunting thing. I have learned a lot about the disease, but still feel like I know so little. Even having dealt with it the past three years, I still find myself having a hard time understanding it. I still find myself thinking "just pull your ass up and get on with life". But I know it is not that simple. We have missed out on so much the past few years. One of the hardest parts for me is learning to not let it affect me. I still NEED to socialize and enjoy life. Too often I get sucked in and end up passing on things so I can stay home, Then I get angry with myself for doing so. Depression is like a black hole sucking all those around it inside. I have to learn that it is ok for me to got out and do things even though K doesn't feel like it. Some good years are going by quickly and there is so much to do and experience in this world. I want him to get better and I want things back the way they were. Someday I hope.

Sounded a little melodramatic there. He is improving and I need to acknowledge that. But God it is taking a long time.

Wish I had something more exciting to write about, but maybe something fun will come around by this weekend.

Another blah weekend

2005-06-19T22:50:00.000-06:00

Well I haven't done real well in keeping this blog going. I do better in my journaling program, but I intend to get better.

This weekend kinda sucked. This is what I would call a rain shower in my paradise. The weekend started off ok. K actually wanted to go to Chatfield with me to let Rusty go swimming. That was good, it was hot, but Rusty had a blast. He has sooo much energy when he swims. I guess that would just be that fact he is cool. K couldn't believe how much Rusty liked to fetch. He doesn't usually do that. But throw a stick out in the water and he was all over it. This was only the forth time we gone to the lake and he only played fetch twice. It was good K could play that with him. I think they both really enjoyed it.

Later I asked K if he wanted to go out and he didn't really answer. This always means no. But he asked what I wanted to do, so I told him I wanted to go out either that night or Sunday. He said going out Sunday would be better and sounded like fun. Yet today rolls around and K is too depressed to do anything. It amazes me just how much his mood affects me, yet it does. I ended up doing nothing. :( I even turned down an offer to go watch a jazz concert in the park with a group of friends. I feel like I wasted the whole weekend. I am really not up for wasting another year due to someone else's depression. Uggggg.

Work is incredibly busy. Just got back from Cincinnati for a training conference a couple weeks ago. It seems that we have so much to do and this incredibly shot time frame in which to get it done. They are rolling out something like for or five different processes at once. All of them will feed off our system's data eventually, however for right now they are all their own independent systems. And of course things don't quite mesh up yet. It is going to be a long summer I think.

Cincinnati was cool. It was good to put faces with the people I talk to all the time. And damn can they drink! LOL! Well, honestly what else is there to do there! 90 degrees and humidity. I wouldn't mind it if there was an ocean close, but damn.

Friday the 13th

2005-05-13T16:58:00.000-06:00

Hey, Hey it's my BIRTHDAY! lol! Friday the 13th, my lucky day. Wow, this will be the end of my 30's. It is really going by quickly. Comparing my 20's and 30's, my life has probably had more change in the latter. Finally got out of retail, entered my first long term relationship, bought 2 homes, got a dog, and came out. Yeah, that is a lot. My twenties were spent mostly in school, had a lot of fun though, but nothing really life changing. They say this is a journey. A journey through hell at times, at others, a walk in the park. I've always been one to look up the path, anticipate what was coming next. Much better to look around more. The road ahead will come, whether I am looking for it or not and I think it is lot better to be surprised rather than disappointed. I still have the urge to look up the path, but I'm slowly getting better at watching where I walk and keeping my feet moving.

I think I might be getting old though. Some friends went out last night, and even though I knew I was off today, it just seemed so much more pleasant to keep my ass on the couch. I didn't want to over sleep in the morning so that I could get up and walk and go for coffee. Instead I slept till 11 anyway. God I AM old!

And so it begins

2005-04-29T20:59:00.000-06:00

Well I have finally succumbed to the blog craze. I guess this will allow me to post my rants on life, politics, or whatever else happens in this crazy life. “Sometimes It Rains in Paradise” comes from a poem I wrote once. No matter if the rain is just a sprinkle or a hurricane, the sun will eventually come back out.

So thus starts my rambling, rants, or whatever else I feel like putting in here. Not so much for anyone else to read, but as a form of therapy. Just a way to express my frustrations and thus deal with the rainstorms in paradise.